I am going to spend my life being a color

Those who know me, define me in two very different ways with regard to the way I approach life. One set call me an intransigent, hard-balled, calculated, cold-hearted, practical son-of-a-B@#!* about the way I go about doing my things. The other set call me an impractical, day-dreaming, wide-eyed idealist who carries on with his life with no regard about tomorrow. Truth to be told, I feel that I have got a bit of both in me. And no, it is not because I am a Gemini! (enough of that!). And I believe it is applicable to each one of us.

I believe every action that we do -- or for that matter, think -- has a mixture of idealism and pragmatism. It is this "mixture" that makes us do the things that we perceive to be crazy or mundane. What would you define someone who willingly chooses to try for the "million dollar question", knowing very well that the wrong answer would eat away more than 90% of his winnings? Or what would you say to a person who wishes to take a peek into "door #3"? What would you call Virender Sehwag who chose to reach his first triple hundred with a six? At the other end of the spectrum, we have those who stay at home because there is a chance that there is a chance to catch swine flu by chance. Again, enuff said!

Actions -- I believe -- are driven by three factors. First, is the motivation to reach one's goal.  Second, the level of self-realization a.k.a the ability to properly and consciously understand one's potential and situation one is in. Third, a (decent) dose of unadulterated & original "crazy." Think about these three components as red, green, blue colors. You can form any color (actually you can form 65536 ways, but why go into that) with either the PRESENCE or ABSENCE of red, green and blue. Notice my stress on both "presence" and "absence." Extending this analogy, a person's specific action may be characterized by which he or she mixes each of the three aforementioned characteristics.

I tend to disagree that a person's character is fixed. I believe that a person's character, and in turn, his actions are dependent on the magnitude, gravity and timing of his situation that eventually governs the way in which he mixes his "red, blue and green." I would say Sehwag had 100% motivation, 100% self-realization and 100% craziness for choosing to hit a six to reach this triple hundred. But my topic is not just about hitting sixes, it is more than that.

You know that if red, blue, and green are 100% present, the outcome is white color. Going with the tradition of having white for good and black for bad, the presence of all three characteristics would result in absolute "whiteness." If an 100% "white" action succeeds, the outcome is eternal glory; a place in history. However, I would like to point out that the type of outcome may or may not be good in character. Examples are the works of Hitler or our very own Lord Voldemort. On the other extreme, we have people who show 0% of everything in their actions. No one cares about these people. They become so insignificant that they become a bane for others' existence.

But most of us use some percentage of each of these three characteristics in our actions. Let us take a simple situation which most of us can relate to. "Should I stay with my current company or look for a job outside?" Now lets add depths to this situation. "What if there I don't like the new job? What if the new job requires to travel? What if I get a promotion in my current company?" Catch hold of 100 people, and all those 100 people will give different answers. Just like one generalizes a light yellow and a dark yellow as yellow, we tend group our answers into three categories: "take the new job, don't take the new job, or indecisive." Trust me, if you deeply analyze the specifics of decision making process, you would actually find that each decision would consist of parts of "take new job","don't take new job", and "indecisive."

So coming back to first paragraph on discussion about yours truly, what governs my action? I feel that in each of my actions, I have 100% motivation. But it is the degree of "self-realization" and "craziness" that makes me to free-climb a hill, but also to be afraid to look down from terrace. But if any of these parts is 0, I will not do it.

An action with zero motivation is a waste of time.
An action with zero self-realization will never see the the intended goal.
An action with zero craziness is boring.

So what are you made up of?

Who let the aliens out..who who who

I was watching the movie "Independence day" today, after feeling so bored to go to office (I eventually did after the movie ended). I bet I would have seen it scores of time, but it still never fails to enthrall me. Very vividly remember the first time I watched this movie, in theater with my uncle and my brother. The movie is amazing, especially the story line about how the aliens come to Earth to exploit its resources. Sounds unique, oh wait, the same thread is spawn across many movies such as Terminator series, Transformers, etc. The concept is simple. After having exhausted all of their resources, the aliens try to subjugate other living organisms across galaxies for the benefit of aliens' race.

Perhaps as shown is terminator series, these aliens would leech on humans' energy for sustainability. Perhaps they would utilize all of our water without leaving anything for future generations. Perhaps they would rape the earth for all its minerals. Perhaps they would cut down all the trees so that they could make more energy. Perhaps they would use all of their power to establish a potent race that will establish its dominance across earth. Or they would just trash our Earth for the fun of it. Sometimes they don't even have to come in hordes in space-ships, perhaps just a seed from space is enough to cause enough catastrophe. This has been the recurrent theme of many a good and bad movies which have come from the Hollywood's stable. Why am I suddenly talking about aliens you may ask. I just happen to read some news articles about Stephen Hawking, and how he doesn't wish we humans establish contact with aliens. When you just think the story has gone too far, you should actually read about a rebuttal made by some guy about how aliens are already among us!!

Leaving aside the notions of religion, God and other super/extra/pseudo-natural forces for a minute, let me consider the facts as suggested/perceived/proven by scientific community and commonsense. I feel that many of my aforementioned presumed activities of alien community have already been diligently carried out by humans. Utilize all of our water without leaving anything for future generations, Check! Leech on fellow humans' work for sustainability, Check! Rape the earth for all its minerals, Check! Cut down all the trees so that we could make more energy, Check! Use power to establish a potent race that will establish its dominance across earth, Check! Trash our Earth just for the heck of it, Double Check!

Wait, here comes the interesting part. It has been suggested that the organic form on Earth could have come from asteroids when they crashed into earth. Very recently, scientists have discovered an icy asteroid which they said could throw some light about the formation of water and other life forms on Earth. Taking this argument into consideration, the seeds for mankind could very well sown from outer-space. Of course we immediately didn't grow big, perhaps we took millions of years, but for the omni-presence Time, million years is nothing. Just a seed from space is enough to cause enough catastrophe, oh you bet, Check! Perhaps aliens are already here, and it could very well be US (US as in "us" and not United States). Yep, we humans are the aliens. I am not sure even the real "aliens" would be capable enough to cause as much destruction to Earth as we do.

So the day went fine; saw a good movie, had a decent time at office, and produced a counter-theory to Stephen Hawkings'. Not too shabby I guess ;-)

Whats life about anyway...

42. The answer by Deep Thought to the question "Ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything" to the hyper intelligent, pan-dimensional beings. Unsatisfied, these creatures ask for a meaningful answer, and Deep Thought suggests that it will build a super computer that could provide one. And Deep Thought built Earth, only to be destroyed by Vogons before anyone could extract the answer to the ultimate question. This, the theme of Douglas Adam's Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, is a light-hearted parody of humans for their search to find the meaning or purpose of life. How comical it may be, this book vividly describes the obsession we have in finding the answer to the ultimate question.

There are two types of people in this world; one who searches for the answer his entire life, and the other who assumes the answer and tries to spend his life accordingly. Apparently, religions say that there is a third type of people who actually do know the answer, but that is a different story and lets not get into that. So then, what is the meaning of our existence? Is it to prostrate before God and thank Him for the gift of life as the religions preach? Is it to attain the ultimate knowledge and use it for good as Aristotle, Plato and Kant concurred? Or is it just to wake up every darn day and try to do the same things all over again? It is actually this question which keeps us alive consciously. Imagine that if I know my purpose of life is to watch a Manchester United match at Old Trafford on December 12th 2016, will I bother about anything else? My example may be comical, but my argument is not.

It is said that the ones who managed to escape from the 9/11 attacks on twin towers are those who helped others to cross the road, waited to tie their shoes, and decided to skip a crowded train. Not to sound preachy, but what is there to our life if we don't bother to enjoy all the small things. For me life is definitely not a race. For me, life is like taking a gentle walk along the seashore, with my friends and family beside. I don't give a tiny rat's ass if I manage to come before or after anyone. I may not finish the race, but hell, I would have experienced a lot more than the guy who just kept on running only to roll over and die at the end without seeing the finishing line. There are two types of people in this world. I belong to the second type. My answer to the ultimate question? I exist so that I can feel the love around me. I love, therefore I am.

Many people have problems, worries and what not. Most of us, including me, try to look for God only when we are in a quandary. And we get so darn pissed at Him for not being there at that crucial time. If God were to solve all our problems when we pray, then what is the purpose of OUR existence. I believe that the answer to this question is never meant to be found, at least in our life on Earth (or to any other planet to which we may go in future). As someone who was close to me used to say, the real fun of life is to expect the unexpected. Enjoy the journey of life, as it tells you so many stories, and perhaps, just perhaps, if you bother to listen to them keenly, you might find that your life has been telling you the answer to the ultimate question all along!

And the best actor award goes to...

"All the world's a stage
And all the men and women merely players..."
-by William Shakespeare in "As You Like It"

Shakespeare used this monologue to portray the various stages of womanhood in his play. However, this phrase of his is now often quoted to show how fickle humans have become. Each of us, more often than not, has to act to pass everyday of our existence. From waking up next to an unfaithful spouse, putting on a smile to the vagaries of an undeserving boss, agreeing to the whimsical perceptions of the society, and sacrificing the life for unappreciative children, we seem to wear a different character to help us get out, or at least maintain our sanity. Perhaps not many would accept a person for exactly what he his. Parents wish their kids study a bit better. Spouses hope their partners are a bit understanding. Our whole life seems to revolve around a ten letter word. Compromise. If I ask you the question "when was the last time you were yourself for on full day"? And if you happen to think really hard to answer, just sit back and think about the direction in which you are taking your life. Exactly, how deserving are our fellow actors to have our identity sacrificed for them? This question was asked to me by my conscience very recently. With my right brain displaying soap opera-esque emotion to this riddle, my left brain gently patted it and said "I'll take it from here."

According to my left brain, my analytical and logical syndicate, respectfully disagrees. The "acting" is our only ally in helping us to wither the everyday storm a.k.a our daily life. Ever since the collapse of the mythological "tower of babel", we humans have always struggled to communicate. Humans invented languages and customs which enabled them to pass a few thousand years of existence without much fuss. Then came the renaissance, then industrial and now we are in the nuclear age. Now it is not enough to communicate. To use the business term, we must communicate "effectively." And all of it need not be acting. For so many years people have grown up with their own customs, and for us to know them better, we have to come to a common ground. This is where "acting" helps. We are not changing our self, but merely performing a part for a specified amount of time so that both us and others could derive maximum benefit of our meeting. And after this specified time, we need not be acting at all. My left brain concludes that instead of considering acting as a noun which means "performing a role", consider "acting" as an adjective which means "serving temporarily especially as a substitute" as in "the acting President."

"Objection your Honor", interrupts my right brain, my source of impetuousness, imagination and emotion. Oh by the way, I am the "honorable" one. As per right brain, in the current fast moving world, we have to put on so many acts together, which sometimes even overlaps; we really do not have time to "clear the makeup." In fact, we become so tired of changing we decide to stay with the character(s) we portray for some time. And invariably, the time to remove the makeup, the masks and the costumes never comes. We end up being someone else for the rest of our lives.

Both my left and right brain look at me expectingly (and respectfully :D) for my verdict. Well, honestly I agree and disagree with both of them. There really can't be a black or white about this as the world we live in is far from ideal. We might have to rely on both of them to help us tread on this gray path. The right brain, which I consider to be white for its pure emotional thinking, and the left brain, the black for its cold calculation and practicality, mixing together to help us. Perhaps that’s why the gray matter in brain is called "gray" matter, a proper mix of black and white. There is a reason why we are the most advanced (known) species; we evolve, with the help of our gray matter. Personally, I always like to give a chance. Initially, I had let my right brain to guide me, and many a time I got hurt in trying to understand what people are really about. But those who saw me beyond all that have remained my close to me. And now, my left brain helps me to quantify these results and store them in a safe place as "experiences" so that next time I come across one such role, I am well prepared to play my part. However, I myself don't change; I just project myself in a way the rest will like to see. I am not acting; I am merely performing an illusion. What about you?

Lift Karade

Sometimes...well many times I wonder "WHATS UP WITH PEOPLE!!!!." Why you may ask, and let me tell you.
My desk is in the 8th floor of my office building, and being a lazy bum (and a sane person), I use lift to reach to my floor. There are 6 lifts on the ground floor, all neatly maintained and robust (thanks CBRE!).
There is a button at the front for you to press to make the lift come to your floor. A nice small square button with an arrow emboldened in an appropriate direction. Once you press that button, it lightens up until the lift reaches your floor. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure that out in more than couple of attempts, unless you are a Jonny Bravo, a Joey Tribiani or a Micheal Kelso.
I know people, who have been coming here for months, if not years, keep pressing the button again and again even though the lift button is on, and knowing this concept. And I wonder "WHATS UP WITH PEOPLE!!!!"
May be it is the sheer expectation of a miracle, that if they press the button hard enough for many times, the lift could skip the intermediate floors and come immediately when summoned. Or it could be the arrogance of those people, who want to have everything when they want at any cost. Or it could just be the sheer frustration in the morning where they have to go for a job which they really don't like and which really doesn't pay well. Or it could be some urgent pressing matter which could not wait even for a second (urinal comes to my mind, there is none on the ground floor). Or they could be just dumb.
I am no saint, for I have found myself a few times pressing the button again and again. When I do that, I consciously try to find why I did that. What made me to do that? And this insight has helped me to understand many of my problems swiftly, and of late I find myself not doing this nonsensical stuff.
May be you can find some soul-searching tool at your workplace too. Till then, slog it out!

DREAM CATCHING(UP)

I am not sure if I have had dreamed about anything for such a long time other than thinking about studying abroad. Five years, and it is still burning inside. Those who know me, and have followed my blog for the past few years would understand what I am saying. Well, you can’t say owning Manchester United Football Club to be a dream; it is more of a fantasy.

I gave GMAT on August 2008 to kick of pursuit of becoming an MBA graduate. With an average score of 680/6, I had to put all my effort on projecting my application through my essays. Fast forward to February 2009, I have an admission offer from one of the premier institutes in USA. There is only one catch though; I need $110,000! Almost everyone I know keep telling the same thing; “it is not worth it.” Perhaps, they don’t understand what this means to me. This is not just an MBA. This is my dream personified. This is the source of my belief, which proves to me again and again that I can capable of realizing my dream through hard work and dedication. I may not be born with a golden spoon, but I hell can make one of my own!

Never expected this day to come sooner; or perhaps has it come a bit late? I always had taken my finances for granted, living everyday on its merit, and with almost no savings. But even if I become a miser from today, there is no way I will be able to garner that much amount in a year. Heck! That is the amount I dream of having in my bank balance when I retire.

Now I am left to ponder my next steps in life. May sound cheesy folks, but I really feel a sense of accomplishment! If I can alter Pierre de Coubertine’s Olympic mantra for a poor student’s dream, “Studying does not matter; getting admission is a big deal in itself.” HELL YEAH!