Perspective is a bitch. Blessed are those who are impervious to the incessant replays of their past, the ignorant fools who have no idea how close they were to their best dreams or worst nightmares coming true. How I envy them. Contrary to the popular belief that I am indeed one of the those ignorant fools, I do possess abundance hindsight. In fact, if I were a super hero, I would be Captain Hindsight and my super power would be hindsight, with a perfect 20/20 vision. May be I am a fool, to dwell on the past, the "what-if" s, the "almost" s, and the "may be" s. May be I am a fool, that I just can't let things do.
Why now? I like to believe it's the freakin' midlife crisis. For the past few weeks, actually a few months, my life path has taken a whole new trajectory on its own. Honestly, not even a single event was under my control. Most of it were under Mr. Murphy's but I digress. Since two and half years ago, I have been trying to carefully orchestrate every move of mine, only to have all hell break loose in the last 6 months. But here is the weird part. This lack of control is exhilarating; it's a kind of freedom I haven't felt since the high school or early college days. And I guess that's why the nostalgia.
Time is indeed one true thing that you can never get back in return for all the riches of the world. Ironically, it is indeed one of the most wasted commodity too. I just feel like, somewhere, in the midst of my pursuit of education, career and some personal aspirations, I have lost some time along the way. As I said, perspective is a bitch. It's not that I am complaining about the time I have spend on my endeavors, truly they have made me the man I am today. The thing is, I just feel like I have lost some time, time that I should have had for myself. Based on my calculation its about two years.
I would say, with regard to where I am and where I would like to be, I am content. Just that I wish I was here 2 years ago, and may be had some time to burn just on me, before I get into the quagmire of living for those who are around me or dependent on me. I am told that's how life would be from now on. I am eager to see what's going to happen.
Why now? I like to believe it's the freakin' midlife crisis. For the past few weeks, actually a few months, my life path has taken a whole new trajectory on its own. Honestly, not even a single event was under my control. Most of it were under Mr. Murphy's but I digress. Since two and half years ago, I have been trying to carefully orchestrate every move of mine, only to have all hell break loose in the last 6 months. But here is the weird part. This lack of control is exhilarating; it's a kind of freedom I haven't felt since the high school or early college days. And I guess that's why the nostalgia.
Time is indeed one true thing that you can never get back in return for all the riches of the world. Ironically, it is indeed one of the most wasted commodity too. I just feel like, somewhere, in the midst of my pursuit of education, career and some personal aspirations, I have lost some time along the way. As I said, perspective is a bitch. It's not that I am complaining about the time I have spend on my endeavors, truly they have made me the man I am today. The thing is, I just feel like I have lost some time, time that I should have had for myself. Based on my calculation its about two years.
I would say, with regard to where I am and where I would like to be, I am content. Just that I wish I was here 2 years ago, and may be had some time to burn just on me, before I get into the quagmire of living for those who are around me or dependent on me. I am told that's how life would be from now on. I am eager to see what's going to happen.
