A good year comes to an end

Got to say that 2013 has been the loneliest of my years so far. So many goodbyes in such a little time. And not to mention that this is the first time I am spending New Year's eve without my friends and family; only Chinese takeout and Big Bang Theory to keep me company. I'd like to think that I have grown and matured a little in this year; if not 30 is going to be no fun for sure.

For me, this year has been the year of milestones; some very long term dreams came true and some didn't. It's not a matter of giving up, just that some of them came with an expiry date. I guess that's fine, at least it allows me to not dwell on the past and just move forward. In hindsight, I might be chided for calling 2013 the year of milestones. Do I know something? Of course not but hope springs eternal doesn't it?

I am happy that I got to try a few things for the first time this year, all to positive outcomes so far. I'm thinking of all the things I could try and all the resolutions that I could make (and fail miserably to keep up..hmpfh) but I think I am just going to to keep the things going and perhaps hope something good comes out of those endeavors.

I wish you all a kick-ass 2014 year ahead.

Dude where's my time

Perspective is a bitch. Blessed are those who are impervious to the incessant replays of their past, the ignorant fools who have no idea how close they were to their best dreams or worst nightmares coming true. How I envy them. Contrary to the popular belief that I am indeed one of the those ignorant fools, I do possess abundance hindsight. In fact, if I were a super hero, I would be Captain Hindsight and my super power would be hindsight, with a perfect 20/20 vision. May be I am a fool, to dwell on the past, the "what-if" s, the "almost" s, and the "may be" s. May be I am a fool, that I just can't let things do.

Why now? I like to believe it's the freakin' midlife crisis. For the past few weeks, actually a few months, my life path has taken a whole new trajectory on its own. Honestly, not even a single event was under my control. Most of it were under Mr. Murphy's but I digress. Since two and half years ago, I have been trying to carefully orchestrate every move of mine, only to have all hell break loose in the last 6 months. But here is the weird part. This lack of control is exhilarating; it's a kind of freedom  I haven't felt since the high school or early college days. And I guess that's why the nostalgia.

Time is indeed one true thing that you can never get back in return for all the riches of the world. Ironically, it is indeed one of the most wasted commodity too. I just feel like, somewhere, in the midst of my pursuit of education, career and some personal aspirations, I have lost some time along the way. As I said, perspective is a bitch. It's not that I am complaining about the time I have spend on my endeavors, truly they have made me the man I am today. The thing is, I just feel like I have lost some time, time that I should have had for myself. Based on my calculation its about two years.

I would say, with regard to where I am and where I would like to be, I am content. Just that I wish I was here 2 years ago, and may be had some time to burn just on me, before I get into the quagmire of living for those who are around me or dependent on me. I am told that's how life would be from now on. I am eager to see what's going to happen.

Unfinished Business

Those who have been reading my blog for a while know the journey I had to make about a good 6 years ago to obtain my MBA. It's been a while now, but I am extremely happy to share with you all that I have finally gotten my MBA from a US university. It all feels surreal now, the plans, the pains, the sacrifices, the disappointments, the failures, all for one success. And it's worth it. To a normal Joe, this is indeed a normal feat, of course every other Indian is now getting an international MBA. From outside, that's whats I would think too, but now that I have made the journey myself, I understand how it is; I understand what it means. And I wish to congratulate everyone who has accomplished it.

I made so many plans and calculations in the last 5 years. It is always wonderful when a certain plan bears fruition; it's good to be right. I love planning. But the problem was, I never planned what I would do after MBA. For me, getting to US to pursue MBA was the ultimate goal. Having accomplished that, I now am fiddling my thumbs what to do. Oh wait, job hunt. Well, that's a different story altogether.

But I do feel that there is some unfinished business in my life. It was great to have one goal and work towards that. But now I see it, my life is going to be a series of goals until my final breath. I am not sure whether I like it or not, I am sure this is the only way I am going to live my life. But I look back, and each new goal is comparatively harder to achieve than the previous one. May be my expectations have increased, may be I am thinking too much about myself or just may be I am fantasizing a bit too much; doesn't seem to matter.

The only problem (I am gonna get nicely for calling this a "problem" from "someone") is that my journey from now on might not be alone. Is this good or bad, I have no idea, having spent all of my existence in an "eternal bachelor" lifestyle. Or is this due to bad pick-up skills, I have no idea (Thank god for the arranged marriage!). Let's see how far I've come...let's see how far I'll go.