Unfinished Business

Those who have been reading my blog for a while know the journey I had to make about a good 6 years ago to obtain my MBA. It's been a while now, but I am extremely happy to share with you all that I have finally gotten my MBA from a US university. It all feels surreal now, the plans, the pains, the sacrifices, the disappointments, the failures, all for one success. And it's worth it. To a normal Joe, this is indeed a normal feat, of course every other Indian is now getting an international MBA. From outside, that's whats I would think too, but now that I have made the journey myself, I understand how it is; I understand what it means. And I wish to congratulate everyone who has accomplished it.

I made so many plans and calculations in the last 5 years. It is always wonderful when a certain plan bears fruition; it's good to be right. I love planning. But the problem was, I never planned what I would do after MBA. For me, getting to US to pursue MBA was the ultimate goal. Having accomplished that, I now am fiddling my thumbs what to do. Oh wait, job hunt. Well, that's a different story altogether.

But I do feel that there is some unfinished business in my life. It was great to have one goal and work towards that. But now I see it, my life is going to be a series of goals until my final breath. I am not sure whether I like it or not, I am sure this is the only way I am going to live my life. But I look back, and each new goal is comparatively harder to achieve than the previous one. May be my expectations have increased, may be I am thinking too much about myself or just may be I am fantasizing a bit too much; doesn't seem to matter.

The only problem (I am gonna get nicely for calling this a "problem" from "someone") is that my journey from now on might not be alone. Is this good or bad, I have no idea, having spent all of my existence in an "eternal bachelor" lifestyle. Or is this due to bad pick-up skills, I have no idea (Thank god for the arranged marriage!). Let's see how far I've come...let's see how far I'll go.

கிருக்கல்

நீ அழகின் மொத்தம் என்று சொல்லி
அந்த பரஹ்மன் வைத்தான் முற்று புள்ளி
உதட்டோரதில் மச்சம்.

(...inspired by a song and a person...)

Are you talking to me?

One of the pivotal moments in the Star Wars franchise is when Master Yoda recommends the Jedi council to not elevate Anakin Skywalker as a Jedi Master because Yoda had sensed darkness inside Anakin. Now how that pissed Anakin off, eventually leading to a series of events that makes him the Darth Vader is a segue to what I wish to talk about. My mind is fixated on the powers of Master Yoda, especially to read or at least discern  people's  thoughts and emotions. My wish is based on a simple necessity; many a time I wish I knew what someone is actually thinking even though what they say otherwise.


Since school, I have tried my level best to be a nice boy, always a teachers pet, always a pet to my friends' parents (much to my friends chagrin) and someone who could be an example. It was fine, when I was kid, I hanged out with other kids and they pretty much don't give a darn about all that. If they don't like you, they just tell it your face. When I was a kid, I knew who my friends and enemies were. And as I grew older, it became hard to know either of those. The problem with getting old is, the stakes become higher. We live in a society where a normal person just cannot afford to have enemies because our fights are not honorable, or we just don't fight fairly.  It is fine, and even "tactically right" to not let know what you think of someone. And its perfectly fine to talk to their backs. I am no psychologist, but I am sure we "civilized" humans avoid confrontation as much as possible. But I think we have some broken compass that points to standing-up and avoidance. Apart from the spineless existence that is accompanied by being a pussy, you are also left to be ridiculed in many permutations. You think you are safe? You are the one getting verbal bashing in your absence.


Many books have been written to identify certain ticks or "giveaways" in a person's that would help to read what he/she is thinking. But not many are gifted to that extent. Heck a few of us wouldn't realize if someone lies to our face, with a laugh track on the side and a card saying "you are a jerk." But sometime we do get to know when we are made fools. And when that happens, it leaves a bad aftertaste. So here I am, raising a toast, to all my enemies (you know who you are), for letting me know whats in your mind and what you think of me. Even though I don't like you, I respect you for what you are.

Yaaawn - 2

So I go back home tired just wanting to have some hot tea, and my mom comes out and says, "Ok Riaz I have found a girl for you." I jump right out of my slumber. So many different thoughts were going through my head. I can't get married now, I am not ready. I tell, "mom, whats the hurry now, I am just getting to start my career." "No Riaz, you are 29 now and its about time. Your dad and I have decided, and we think that this girl would be really suitable for you. We have almost finalized the alliance, and all I require from you is to say yes and we will proceed."

I started to sweat profusely. I wasn't ready for this. Given the fact that I am too old and fat to run behind a girl, I have resigned to the fact that my marriage will be arranged. I act as if I have a choice, I don't but that's a moot point now. I get all panicky every time I am reminded about marriage, or the concept of it. To be spending and sharing with someone, is indeed a weird thing for me. Heck, I don't even like to share my bed, how will I share my life. I am not a big romantic but I do like to know someone really well before I commit to that person. On the other hand, it would also behoove well for "that" person to know me well before she likes to commit to the specimen that is me. All my dear friends would vouch for the trial period, knowing my idiosyncrasies.

"Mom, don't you think that this is a bit hasty? I mean, whats the hurry now. You didn't even tell me that you had this thought!" "I have been saying this to you for years, and you never give due attention. I have decided. Now there is someone from girl's side here. If you have any questions you can ask." I scream, "are you crazy? You actually have someone here?!!! And you didn't even think of letting me know when I was I coming home." "Well, if I had told you before, you would not have come home", she told as a matter of fact. I thought, "oh well, thats true."

I am going to meet someone from the bride's side. Crap, "bride's" side, this is indeed really happening. In as much as I say anything, I am pretty sure that my parents (when I say parents, I mean my mom) have already made up their minds, and this would be THE family I would be entering into. I have always been appreciative of my mom. We come from a real conservative society, but she has always given me my freedom, keeping my interests first before anything and anyone else, thus being on the receiving side on quite a few family gatherings. When it is a norm for a guy to get married at 24-25 age in our circle, my mom let me do what I want with my career. She was really supportive of my intent to pursue higher studies, obvious, as she is the one who instilled the fire to gain knowledge ever since I was a kid. Almost everyone was against my decision to leave a plump job behind and go abroad to study amidst volatile economy, but my mom supported me, albeit with tears, as she knew what I want. Of course, mom knows the best.

But this, this is BIG. So I get into the bathroom first to freshen up, obviously, I'd at least try to make a good impression. I was still sweating, but I came out eventually, and mom took me to the living room where one of the soon-to-be "extended family" was waiting. "Riaz, this is...." I didn't pay attention to the name or anything else as I was busy trying to size up my "opponent." Probably a sister or cousin of the bride, I thought, definitely the one with more voice and inquisitive of the lot as lots of information had to go back to the headquarters where the parents and the bride are. She extended her hand, I just managed to blurt of an hi, still caught with the myriad of things inside my head. A wrong thing to do, I thought afterwards; I just came out a bit crude.

I told," You want to get out somewhere, probably to terrace or balcony where we can talk in private." I could see in my mom's eyes that she didn't approve of my request, but she kept to herself , so both of us came out. I felt as if I had just got out of a pressure cooker. There was so much I want to shout out. She looked at me and said, "momma's boy huh!" I got so angry. I said, "look you don't know me well enough to judge me. So please don't." "Ok, ok, I am sorry. I was just joking you know. So marriage uh. It is a big deal." I replied, "It is, thank you."

"Look, Your mom thought I could help you out and so I am here to answer any questions you have about the bride or our family. Don't consider me an outsider. Ask as if you'd ask a friend." After getting calmed a little bit, I asked, "look, you sound like a smart person. Do you think it is fair that such a big decision in my life is being made, and I am not even a part of it?" She said, "even your mom sounds to be smart. I think whatever decision she makes would be the right choice for you." I reply, "I know, I know. Whatever she has done has been for my benefit all these years. But this, this is just overwhelming. I mean to think that I would be spending the rest of my life with someone, that feeling is not sinking in. How would you feel if something like this happened to you?"

"I will be overwhelmed too. A lot in fact. But if I know that the person is nice, I would be eager to start my life again with him." Impressed, but I still had some doubts. Someone from family looks intelligent, hopefully the bride will be too. And then I just asked bluntly, "look you think it is fair that I'd have to say yes to this alliance, without meeting the girl. I'd love to talk to her, at least some, make sure that she likes me, don't you think that it's important?" She said, "It is very important indeed. But I think the girl would like you, I have no doubt." I retorted, "see people's preferences differ. Plus, I would like to ask that to the girl personally, not through any third party. And I have a few personal questions to ask to the bride too; know her well, or at least some." She replied, "That is perfectly fine. So go on, ask me." She smiled.

Suddenly, I understood the gravity of what she said, and comprehended the smile on her face. The feeling of confusion and stupidity was way too much to bear, and I just faintly remember coming back to my senses, with her name being the first question I asked.

And then I came back to senses for real. No doubt, I was sporting a smile the whole day. Finally I got to meet my dream girl. For real!

Based on a true dream, not so long ago. And it is not real. And it is not a true story. And I am not engaged (as yet). Sheesh!!!

Yaaawn.

Ever since my last outrageous dream-slash-nightmare only to not remember that in full after I woke up, I told myself that as soon as I wake up from a similar experience, I would note it down and may be start a chronicle of sorts. Today was one of those days, and I thought I'd give you a glimpse as to what is happening inside my head, even when I am not aware of it.

Ok...so I have to skip the first episode, as it is, well, between someone and me, so I'll jump to the  next one.

This one, is straight out of a Spielberg Movie. So I was in this airport with my friends in Chennai. But this ain't the Chennai airport. In fact, even the best of the international airports I have seen don't come close to whats about to happen inside this airport. First of all, like all dreams we have no idea where were we before the airport episode. Second, I have no idea why are we there; we sure didn't receive anyone at the airport. On a passing note, two guys I knew loooooong time back were just coming back to Chennai from abroad. Weird thing is neither of them were in US and neither of them stay at Chennai. But it is a dream, so anyway. And then, the most outrageous thing happens. From the top, something like small satellites drop down, dozens of them. They don't fall on the floor at once, but hold themselves in suspension until the people underneath them clear, and then gently fall on the floor. Now my friends immediately look to hold on to something, and so does everyone else. Before I ask them why they do that, the entire airport stretch elevates, something akin to an open bridge when a ship goes underneath. This makes the satellite-like things to go to the corner, or almost, until the floor is held inclined. And when everything is settled, people just went to one of those satellite thing, opened it and took something. My friends and I went to the one near us, and we opened it. Guess what was in it? Apparently, it contained the food that we ordered (in the distant past of the dream that is now very vague). I was like.."whoa..cool." And of course, I went on to gorge on brownies (no guess needed to know who ordered that one!)

Now back to reality, I woke up to my alarm at 6:00 AM. Feeling just so lazy after a long day yesterday and decided to go back to sleep...just for a little while. And now the part 2 starts..almost immediately I went back to sleep.

So I am back at the airport, but somewhere at basement here you have this hugeee shopping complex (Chennai airport would be so cool if it were this) and I seem to have lost my friends. As I am going through the shops, there this flagrant transvestite, who starts to hit on me. I was like running away from him/her, and before even I realize I am being stalked and chased. I start running away like crazy, I get out of the airport apartment and then fly out to the streets. It is about 8 PM in the night I guess, judging by the thickness of city traffic. As I am in the process of searching my friends, I see them at the end of the street where. Before I call out to them, one of my friend (Ram) calls out for me "Riaz Gaffooooor." Weird, why would any of my friends call me using that name...but again it is a dream. And then suddenly, one guy who was in the vicinity, catches the shirt of my friend and asked, "did you mean RIAZ GAFFOOR? I am searching for him, where is he?" And at that moment I come to the scene, and this guy takes a piece of log that lay nearby and says, "I have been searching you for so long." Before I even comprehend what the hell is happening, we are surrounded by couple of dozen people armed with all sorts of non-ammo tools (Chennai style). I was like, dude why?, and then he says, "remember sometime back you threw a ball back in this street to a group of people who were playing. The ball you threw hit one of our friend's arm and that lead to a blood clot which lead to a complicated heart condition with which he now has to live for ever." I was like, dude. Now I get a flashback within my dream (oh yeah!), and I now remember what I did. Coming back to my senses --in the dream that is-- I asked to talk to the person whom I apparently inflicted the injury upon. That person came -- I swear I had seen him before -- and said to him, "Man, I didn't mean it." He was like, "yeah it is alright, these guys are just making a big thing out of it." He then talked to the crowd and all was well.

Not sure how much had elapsed after that, now I was somewhere, I think it was in one of my friend's place. We are planning a birthday party, and we are in the process of inviting the rest of the gang. And then flash forward, I am reading Business Process Management, which incidentally happened to be the last one I read before going to sleep.

And then I wake up from the slumber, it is now 7:00 AM and I hurry to get ready for a long Monday.

It's definitely a different feeling to jot down what I had dreamed about. I feel that there are so many of my characteristics are evident from most of these episodes, like how much I miss my friends and hanging out with them. Rest, I have no explanation!! 1 to 10 on outrageous scale, this one is probably at 3-4 ish level. I have had 9s and 10s in the past, and I wish I had remember more of them for they would have made some of the best stories.

Staying Alive

Within a span of just four months into my pursuit, I have made more mistakes than I have made for as long as I could remember. Blame it on the break-neck fast paced life with no excuses for errors. Thats the MBA life, thats the professional life, but I have learnt so much from them, where each time I did/do something stupid, I took a time-off to reset my life. This is not the story, like that Chetan Bhagat's book, these are not the mistakes of my entire life, as I have been into bigger unmentionable shitholes, but they are making me to live, and not letting me to live. Contradictory..well I am a Gemini!

Four months, four mistakes, three of them are my own fault, one of them, perhaps that could be the most profound, it is not my fault...or thats what I think. But it is not anyone's fault either, but it is still a huge problem for me. But for the other three problems, there is a common theme running through it. "I can handle anything." Trust me, that wasn't the story until the last 5 years, some freak incident changed my belief system. From a guy who was always nervous and worried about anything and everything, I became someone who believed that everything happens for good,..worse..that I could get out of any pickle. Now thats all and fine, but problem started when I subconsciously let most of the situations get into a pickle because I kept thinking...well..to quote Barney Stinson.."I am Awesome."

Apparently, I am not...at least not as awesome BS is. BS here is Barney Stinson...clever huh. When I asked myself, why I shouldn't make mistakes, my mind posed me a different question: "Why aren't people trying to make mistakes. " The mistake here, which I should clarify, will affect oneself and not the others. A doctor or a  judge shouldn't make an error in his profession. But the kind I am talking about, only you are affected. Now that I have clarified, let me move on.

Almost everyone I know, is so scared of mistakes. No one wants to be around them. No one wants to admit them. No one wants to try them. It is so very true, that you learn a lot from your mistakes. You can be luckily correct. But you are never wrong by luck. There are others who fret about their mistakes and let them be defined by'em. There are others, who accept that they have made a mistake and move on. And then there are the successful bunch, who commit, admit it, learn from it, and try to not repeat it. History has taught that they have done well. Try out new things. As I always say, there is only one way to find out whether something will actually work; by actually doing it. Try it, the journey is exhilarating. The more mistakes you make, the more confident you get about yourself. Your mistakes is the testimony that you believed in yourself and decided to bet on yourself. if you can't do that for yourself, don't expect anyone else to do it for you.

Aaaaand then the fourth category, those who seem to make the mistake coz well, they can. Yours truly is dabbling with the fourth category now.May be, I am trying to compensate for the insanely boring guy I have been since I was a kid. I have begun to explore, and the more you want to do, the more you make. It is indeed stupid to repeat them, but given the sheer number of stupid things I am doing, they repeat. They aren't identical...but they are similar. Now I am intentionally not specifying what mistakes I had made so far, definitely not the fourth! But that has been the most memorable and most exciting mistake so far. My mistakes, the results of my escapades, my penchant to look "over-the cliff", and my itch to look on the other side, have made my life in this new country more memorable and fun.


P.S:
As I am writing this blog, I got out of the first one. I am awesome...

Stupidonymous

I love my name a lot...it is short and sweet (??). Easy to remember, and as I found in many cases, it is also easy to pronounce even by people not from the same cultural background. But when they ask what my FULL name is, that is when the trouble starts.

You see, till my tenth grade, my name had gone under a multitude of evolution (no numerological or astrological reasons btw) to get to a point where I can write my name with a constant spelling, and took painstaking measures to have the same name in all school records. From Md. Riaz -> Mohd. Riyazudeen -> Mohamed Riazudeen -> Mohammed Riyazuddin -> Mohammed Riazuddin. This name was great, I thought, and I begin to practice my signature with this specific spelling with my dad's initials A.G. (the reason behind my "silver") at the front. Things were fine, not so much so when I appear for the exams (think CAT), where I had to shade my full name in all those ovals. But it wasn't until I wished to apply for passport my troubles started. You know that the passport requires a last name to be filled. In our community, there is no concept of last name. A person just has a name, with no links whatsoever to the family name, mother's name, dad's name or whatever. We were never the "Mr. & Mrs. Sharma" types. So when I required a last name, I went the "western" way by expanding my initials and putting them after my name. Got the passport as "Mohammed Riazuddin Abdul Gaffoor" a name with 32 characters  including space, the significance I didn't realize until I got my job at Verizon.

It seems like many of the systems have a limit of 30 characters for name. So at VZ, I was given Mohammed as first name, Riazuddin as last name, with Abdul as middle name. Even my id card said I was "Mohammed" and I was being called by that. It was very different at the start, as in my then 22 years of existence, I was never addressed as Mohammed. So every time I was addressed as such, I took the pain to correct then and there.."hey you can call me riaz." But over the period of time, all was well, and since I made many "public appearances" my peers knew how to call me.

All was well, until I started to apply for colleges in US. Again the problem, I was called as Mohammed. What's worse, my name started to get cut as my whole name wasn't fitting in many of the application systems. I was Mohammed somewhere...Riaz...or just Abdul Gaffoor. I heaved a huge sigh of relief when my university (UGA) began asking whats my preferred name is, and I very happily replied, "Riaz."

Problem over, no! In my SSN, my name was cut, Riazuddin became Riazudd...and only god knows where these details would be propagated. Add to that, while introducing to my peers, I go, "hey my name is M..R...A..G.. but you can call me Riaz." I lost them at "M...." Then one day came where I had to give what name I wanted to put on my business cards and resumes, and after much deliberation (unfortunate people who were with me when I deliberated know how bad it was) of Mohammed Riazuddin, Riaz Abdul Gaffoor, AG Mohammed Riazuddin, Superman(??), ...I FINNALLYY became Riaz Gaffoor. This ain't my official name as that is still what is in my SSN, but for everything else, the US will now know me as Riaz Gaffoor. Sorry mom, sorry dad, but you shoulda asked me what name I wanted before you kept one!

How to not get a driver's license.

I am now a proud owner of a car..................................................................................license. I still don't have the "authority" from "higher powers" (exactly one generation ahead) to just buy the darn car. But this story is is not about my desire to buy a car. This story is about how I got my driver's license.

To do something in the gargantuan amount of time I have had since my separation from my old job, I decided to take a tiny-teeny amount of time to get a car driver's license which was way over due. It all started with getting my learner's on April 1st. Theoritically, from then on its fifteen days of driving classes and the driving test after 30 days to get the license. Well, it never goes according to paper for me does it? Thanks to a few trips and laziness, I finished all of my 15 classes on May 22nd, scattered between almost 50 days after started. I was eager for my test on 23rd, only to be turned away from driving school to come the next Monday. 29th was a really long hard day -- my friends would vouch for that  -- so I skipped 30th and went on 31st instead, only to be turned down by my driving school because they didn't had a Tuesday slot with the RTO.

Kicking myself for not knowing that fact, and after a wait of one week, I hit the RTO on June 6th morning. After waiting for 2 hours, I was told that my form wasn't paid as yet and I needed to bring the original driver's license to surrender. I am pretty darn amused as to why they would assume I would know this. I was told to come on Wednesday, 8th. On 8th morning, I found out that my form was unknowingly withheld by the school, so I had to come on 9th. On 9th, I packed all my arsenal, skipped my breakfast --god knows when was the last time that happened -- and started for the RTO. I knew it was gonna be a long hard day, so I took my ipod with me. I was so right!

It all started nicely; I waited for 2 hours to have my form to be paid, and another hour for the test to start; in the scheme of things with regard to Chennai RTO, it ain't that bad. Trust me! After being driven to a verge of a nervous breakdown by my driving school teacher and RTO inspector, I learned that I had passed the driving test and am finally going to get the hallowed license after the photo shoot.

At this point, I have to mention my bike license. If I give my current license as a proof of identity for verification, I would be surely put behind bars for identity theft. From my name to my date of birth to my address, every darn thing on that was wrong. I somehow managed to look thin in that photo (college times) so my face doesn't even remotely resemble to what that's on the card. I never paid any attention to all these details and I was never asked about it by the traffic constables either. But I did run into lot of trouble, especially with banks whenever I had to produce my drivers' license. So I decided to get everything straightened out in my new license. And thats when the trouble started.

After the photo shoot, my details were entered into the RTO database. The details were same as in my old license, so I asked them to change to correct ones. I was told to go to the inspector and get a correction. So I went in search of person A, who happened to have taken the day off. So I asked person B instead, but B insisted to get from another inspector C. C had gone for a lunch, and after C came after an hr, C told to get the signature from A. When I told A was on leave, C told to get the signature from D. D took a look at my details and offered to help, only if I can provide the original and copy of my passport. I looked into my arsenal -- apparently I was short of nuke.

I thought myself -- expect the unexpected -- and then scooted to get my passport. I was 2 PM already and I gave a miss to my lunch too. I dun even think I had done that before :D Not wanting to break that record, I had a tea and couple of biscuits to keep my tummy warm. Tea was 5 bucks, biscuits were 2, and the tea shop owner begged for a correct change, and I looked into my purse. I had exact 7 rupees in change; the owner blessed me! I went to my home, found that the power was gone, so I decided to take the copy near RTO. I came to RTO around 2:30 only realized that the place was under power cut from 2-3. So I went to an another zip code and finally managed to find a copying place. The copier guy didnt have a change for my 100, and he didnt want my worn out 10, and all of my change was spent in the tea stall. You can't write a script for this! So I went to get some change for 100. The first store I went it, I tried to break the 100, but the storekeeper didnt have change either.

Something peculiar happened; instead of going to the next shop, I asked whether card will be accepted, and started to shop for things ONLY to realize 5 mins later that I still won't get change. Then leaving all the items over there, I went to another store, got a Sprite and a Naturo and managed to get the change. I then hurried to RTO, only to find that person D had gone out. After waiting for another hour, I showed the documents to D, who then referred me to E for correction. E said that he can only correct learner's license and not a regular, asked me to go to A. After seeing my plight, B did the correction. The correct data was then entered into the system at 4:15, and at 4:30, all was done. Phew!!! Throughout this episode from 2-4PM, a person from my driving school was behind me during my travails. And when I tried to give him "something" -- not because he asked for but because I was grateful to him -- he vehemently opposed to take anything. He skipped his lunch too. That guy somehow managed to put a smile on my face even after such a torturous episode such as this.

So what did I learn? Well, shit happens. So always, ALWAYS, expect the unexpected. God may not be with you all the time, but you can be assured that Mr. Murphy will be. So always be prepared to soothe your mind. It seems I managed to do one thing right yesterday; I packed my ipod. One of my favo songs was on an infinite loop the whole morning.

Me, myself and my brain

After a not so brutal separation from my five year love, I am on a sabbatical now. I had thought about a million things to do in my free time; all the things I so wanted to do for many many years. Now I have all the time in the world yet I seem to run out of time every day. Each of the things I want to do requires a lot of hard work, commitment and perseverance, and it would be an understatement to say that I could be working a lot harder right now than I would have if I had been working. But, the end results of my work would be helpful to me for as long as I wish to live.

Now even with all these advantages of embarking upon on an effort, with even the minimalistic success, or to an extent, failure, yielding great returns, my brain is deciding to, well, lie dormant. And when I say "dormant", I mean eat, day dream-- both awake and asleep, TV, and other things that causes minimal stress on the brain functions. Oh the selfish selfish brain! It puts itself before me. If we both were married, we would be so divorced by now. Since we are not, and I cannot live without my brain (awwww!), I have got to accept it the way it is,albeit grudgingly.

You see, over the period of year of conditioning, brain -- specifically a part of brain that's responsible of pleasure centers -- identifies what's our inherent state of pleasure is, and given an opportunity to be in this state, it will take it. And not just that, it influences -- or at least tries to -- the other parts of the brain to accept its decision by using its not so secret weapon "dopamine." And this state of pleasure is not fixed; we subconsciously define a new one at each stage of our life. For a kid, it could be play outside, for an hardworking person, it could be to just sit back, relax, beer and a game of TV. And for those who have experienced sex, the best pleasure giving activity IMO, the brain constantly looks for chances to make its "bearer" get laid. Enough said.

The weirdest thing is, this state of pleasure or blissfulness necessarily need not be just laziness or indolence. In fact, provided the brain is conditioned, one's state of pleasure could be right at the peak of a physical or a mental activity. This is what makes a scientist go after a not-so trivial pursuit of an arduous experiment, a marathon runner to push every inch of his/her muscle to the limit, and everyone of us to go very near to a cardiac arrest every time we have sex.

My state of pleasure (excluding all sexual components 'coz my private life is off limits!!) is to get to an "aha" moment, a moment of discovery, after breaking my brains and my relationships over a long period in pursuit of a solution to a very complex problem. These situations haven't had happened a lot of times before, but I vividly remember each of those episodes as it happened over the last 10 years. So this state of laziness of mine or an inertia to not get my brain or body thinking, is like the lull before storm or the crouch before the pounce. My brain, will always get make me to get into difficult situations to get as close as possible to be in reaching distance of the "aha" moments. Needless to say, it pisses me off every time it does that; but I love it exactly for this; for keeping me alive.

I am going to spend my life being a color

Those who know me, define me in two very different ways with regard to the way I approach life. One set call me an intransigent, hard-balled, calculated, cold-hearted, practical son-of-a-B@#!* about the way I go about doing my things. The other set call me an impractical, day-dreaming, wide-eyed idealist who carries on with his life with no regard about tomorrow. Truth to be told, I feel that I have got a bit of both in me. And no, it is not because I am a Gemini! (enough of that!). And I believe it is applicable to each one of us.

I believe every action that we do -- or for that matter, think -- has a mixture of idealism and pragmatism. It is this "mixture" that makes us do the things that we perceive to be crazy or mundane. What would you define someone who willingly chooses to try for the "million dollar question", knowing very well that the wrong answer would eat away more than 90% of his winnings? Or what would you say to a person who wishes to take a peek into "door #3"? What would you call Virender Sehwag who chose to reach his first triple hundred with a six? At the other end of the spectrum, we have those who stay at home because there is a chance that there is a chance to catch swine flu by chance. Again, enuff said!

Actions -- I believe -- are driven by three factors. First, is the motivation to reach one's goal.  Second, the level of self-realization a.k.a the ability to properly and consciously understand one's potential and situation one is in. Third, a (decent) dose of unadulterated & original "crazy." Think about these three components as red, green, blue colors. You can form any color (actually you can form 65536 ways, but why go into that) with either the PRESENCE or ABSENCE of red, green and blue. Notice my stress on both "presence" and "absence." Extending this analogy, a person's specific action may be characterized by which he or she mixes each of the three aforementioned characteristics.

I tend to disagree that a person's character is fixed. I believe that a person's character, and in turn, his actions are dependent on the magnitude, gravity and timing of his situation that eventually governs the way in which he mixes his "red, blue and green." I would say Sehwag had 100% motivation, 100% self-realization and 100% craziness for choosing to hit a six to reach this triple hundred. But my topic is not just about hitting sixes, it is more than that.

You know that if red, blue, and green are 100% present, the outcome is white color. Going with the tradition of having white for good and black for bad, the presence of all three characteristics would result in absolute "whiteness." If an 100% "white" action succeeds, the outcome is eternal glory; a place in history. However, I would like to point out that the type of outcome may or may not be good in character. Examples are the works of Hitler or our very own Lord Voldemort. On the other extreme, we have people who show 0% of everything in their actions. No one cares about these people. They become so insignificant that they become a bane for others' existence.

But most of us use some percentage of each of these three characteristics in our actions. Let us take a simple situation which most of us can relate to. "Should I stay with my current company or look for a job outside?" Now lets add depths to this situation. "What if there I don't like the new job? What if the new job requires to travel? What if I get a promotion in my current company?" Catch hold of 100 people, and all those 100 people will give different answers. Just like one generalizes a light yellow and a dark yellow as yellow, we tend group our answers into three categories: "take the new job, don't take the new job, or indecisive." Trust me, if you deeply analyze the specifics of decision making process, you would actually find that each decision would consist of parts of "take new job","don't take new job", and "indecisive."

So coming back to first paragraph on discussion about yours truly, what governs my action? I feel that in each of my actions, I have 100% motivation. But it is the degree of "self-realization" and "craziness" that makes me to free-climb a hill, but also to be afraid to look down from terrace. But if any of these parts is 0, I will not do it.

An action with zero motivation is a waste of time.
An action with zero self-realization will never see the the intended goal.
An action with zero craziness is boring.

So what are you made up of?

Whose Name Is It Anyway?

Ross: Muriel. Why would he call you Muriel? Oh my God! Chandler M. Bing? It’s not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!
Chandler: Shh! It's a family name!
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance, did they?
(From F.R.I.E.N.D.S)

Sometimes, a name is much more than an identity; It defines the person. Really, how many of us have picked up on our friends calling names on their names. And God help them if their names rhymes with many items. I genuinely feel that a name adds to a character and behavior of a person. I can't imagine whether David Beckham would be the kind of person he is if he had a name say,..Paul Wiener! Or Micheal Jackson as a Dick Banger! Or, well, our very own James Bond as Arthur Twinbuckle. "Twinbuckle, Arthur Twinbuckle." Sheeee!

For as long as I could remember, my bro was at odds with my parents about his name. He has already changed the name once (just a few spellings), but he has come close to change his name on so many occasions. And its not just him, I have seen so many people who are unhappy with their names. More importantly, they think that they are not being taken seriously among their colleagues because of their names. Sounds silly, but it a sad true fact.

So I thought, why can't a child choose what name he wants for the rest of his life. Of course, you got to give a name to child as soon as he or she is born because you can't allow him or her to spend the kinder-garden as "specimen FGH143123." But at such a tender age, would a kid be able to understand the significance of a name? I say, write names on chits and let the child choose one. And you can always pass the blame onto your kid if he ever asks you why the hell you chose that specific name for him. But he has every right to kick you if you happen to put a "Quick Gun Murugan" in the lot :D

Finally, I leave with you a small poem. Even though Riaz is a hard name to pick on (not many things that rhymes with zzz), but still a genius friend of mine managed to do something with it when I was in 5th grade.
"Riazuddin,
Godebuddin, (no idea what it means, i know gode = horse...perhaps horse crap??)
Maare duski se (gonna hit u)
Saade theen" (at half past 3)

Till my next post, c ya :-)

Who let the aliens out..who who who

I was watching the movie "Independence day" today, after feeling so bored to go to office (I eventually did after the movie ended). I bet I would have seen it scores of time, but it still never fails to enthrall me. Very vividly remember the first time I watched this movie, in theater with my uncle and my brother. The movie is amazing, especially the story line about how the aliens come to Earth to exploit its resources. Sounds unique, oh wait, the same thread is spawn across many movies such as Terminator series, Transformers, etc. The concept is simple. After having exhausted all of their resources, the aliens try to subjugate other living organisms across galaxies for the benefit of aliens' race.

Perhaps as shown is terminator series, these aliens would leech on humans' energy for sustainability. Perhaps they would utilize all of our water without leaving anything for future generations. Perhaps they would rape the earth for all its minerals. Perhaps they would cut down all the trees so that they could make more energy. Perhaps they would use all of their power to establish a potent race that will establish its dominance across earth. Or they would just trash our Earth for the fun of it. Sometimes they don't even have to come in hordes in space-ships, perhaps just a seed from space is enough to cause enough catastrophe. This has been the recurrent theme of many a good and bad movies which have come from the Hollywood's stable. Why am I suddenly talking about aliens you may ask. I just happen to read some news articles about Stephen Hawking, and how he doesn't wish we humans establish contact with aliens. When you just think the story has gone too far, you should actually read about a rebuttal made by some guy about how aliens are already among us!!

Leaving aside the notions of religion, God and other super/extra/pseudo-natural forces for a minute, let me consider the facts as suggested/perceived/proven by scientific community and commonsense. I feel that many of my aforementioned presumed activities of alien community have already been diligently carried out by humans. Utilize all of our water without leaving anything for future generations, Check! Leech on fellow humans' work for sustainability, Check! Rape the earth for all its minerals, Check! Cut down all the trees so that we could make more energy, Check! Use power to establish a potent race that will establish its dominance across earth, Check! Trash our Earth just for the heck of it, Double Check!

Wait, here comes the interesting part. It has been suggested that the organic form on Earth could have come from asteroids when they crashed into earth. Very recently, scientists have discovered an icy asteroid which they said could throw some light about the formation of water and other life forms on Earth. Taking this argument into consideration, the seeds for mankind could very well sown from outer-space. Of course we immediately didn't grow big, perhaps we took millions of years, but for the omni-presence Time, million years is nothing. Just a seed from space is enough to cause enough catastrophe, oh you bet, Check! Perhaps aliens are already here, and it could very well be US (US as in "us" and not United States). Yep, we humans are the aliens. I am not sure even the real "aliens" would be capable enough to cause as much destruction to Earth as we do.

So the day went fine; saw a good movie, had a decent time at office, and produced a counter-theory to Stephen Hawkings'. Not too shabby I guess ;-)

Angels in the studio

I was seeing Indian Idol and thought, omg, Sunidhi is hot. That’s when I realized that there is a new breed of Indian playback singers who have some amazing looks in addition to the cherubic voices. So I thought of compiling some singers whom I know who share the aforementioned characteristics. And starting with…

Sunidhi Chauhan

This “rukhi rukhi” girl has come a long way since her debut. I started to pay special notice to her songs after listening to her in “Meri zindaghi mein aaye ho” from Armaan. Just stole my heart! My latest craze, “Chor bazari” is also hers. And of course, she has some killer looks!

Shreya Ghosal

Her singing is legendary. Not many singers have won four national awards by the age 25. After a nose job, extra make-up, and doing something with hair thingy, she is looking very cute nowadays!

Reena Bharadwaj

This London based girl has been a consistent fixture in ARR’s troupe. Remember “main vari vari” from Mangal Pandey or “baba kichu kichu tha” from Rajnikanth’s starrer Baba? Yup, it’s the same person. Not that we have to give such an introduction to her anymore. Her “Khilli Re” in Raavan for ARR is enough for the rest of the world to sit up and take notice. And just look how cute she is guys.

Mamta Mohandas

This south Indian actress is also an acclaimed singer. She has given some very peppy numbers, and the most famous of them all is “Daddy Mummy” for Vijay starrer Villu. Doesn’t look bad either, does she?

Andrea Jeremiah

Ok , now I just love this girl. She debuted in Gautam Menon’s Pachaikili Muthucharam opposite Sarathkumar, and immediately made the industry to notice her. But she saved her best looks for Aayirathil Oruvan. For the northies, She has lent her voice for “zara zara” song from Rakhee. But, this blog is not to about the singing talent anyway. Her song “maalai neram” for the movie Aayirathil Oruvan (Tamil) is one of my most favo songs

Anusha Mani

I discovered her during the latest IIT-saarang fest when she came along with Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy to perform. The “lazy lamhe” girl! So good looking na! She is also on facebook, if any of you crazies out there do care.

Shrradha Pandit

Not much to talk about her w.r.t songs, but she has a decent discography. Perhaps one of her better songs is “Aarti” from Dilli-6.

Tanvi Shah

This Jai ho girl needs no introduction!

Know any one else? Share the details in comment section.

My Kerala trip

So we 11 booked tickets for Kerala on March 3rd for April 1st- April 4th, or we thought we did, without knowing where we need to be. The waiting list; 221-231 on one of the busiest weekends of the year, Easter. With the day nearing, many of us weren't sure if we would be able to make the trips with projects and personal life trying to act as the spoil sport. With Arul Raj and Krishna bailing out at the last moment, 9 of us (Ram,Zaheer,CT,Me,Madhavan,Balaji,Nanda,Balaji and Prabhakar) finally managed to catch the Trivandrum express on April 1st at Chennai railway station. Or we thought we did. Ram, Balaji and CT decided to start the trip on high "spirits", and hence in order to buy them, they sacrificed their RAC seats in the train to come in unreserved in the next train. You guys!!! Not that rest of us complained anyway, the TTE was kind enough to give those seats to us. Btw, I believe that the train carried some of the most beautiful Indian women. My dear desi girls! You are soooo darn beautiful. muuuuuuuaaaahhhh.
Next day, we got down at a place called Changanaseri, some 25 km from Allepy. Deciding to be frugal, we took a government bus to Allepy or Allapuzha. After having an excellent breakfast, we waited for the Les Miss-erables. They came, and we were about to scold, and then they opened the bag to show the "bounty" and we went, "awww you guys!" From there, we had only one place to go. The one place where we always wanted to go after seeing Vinnai thaandi Varuvaya. The boat house.

Thanks to contacts of Krishna, we had a good deal on the house boat. To say the house boat was awesome is an understatement. It had a steering deck, 3 air-conditioned double bedrooms with attached bathrooms, a kitchen, and wait for it, a closed roof terrace with LCD tv, dvd player and a DTH connection. Then the other two heroes joined us from Bangalore. Harish and Krishnan. The party is complete...but our party has just started. Allapuzha is awesome guys. There is something about the sight with water all round and us in the middle. The afternoons and evenings were awesome, and we all were sharing good banter. Cooking was excellent; oh btw, we had in house cooks too. The evening was really awesome, and the sight of sun setting in the far west, was breathtaking. We decided to anchor around 6 PM. Some of the guys decided to jump into water (with life jackets ofcoz) for some swim. 8 P.M. and it we decided to watch...well wat else...IPL.

April 3rd. Day 2. 06:00 hrs. We came back to the place where we started, the aptly named "finishing point." Of coz, after coming there we all were scratching our heads wondering where to go from there, and Krishnan made the sweetest offer, "come to my home guys." Only that it was in Trivandrum. Did that deter us, hell no! We caught a 07:15 train leaving for Trivandrum, and reached there around 10:00 AM. There is just something about a home that is soooooo soothing. I mean, you can be in the greatest of hotels, but you can never experience the warmth and comfort of a home. Home food, clean water=> heaven. After a small nap, we decided to go to the famous Kollam beach, some 18 km away. The beach was awesome!!! It was picture perfect, with a lighthouse built atop of rocks, and ofcoz bikini clad foreigners. Zaheer, Prabhakar and I decided to get into the water, with Balaji staying away coz he had an headache, and the rest decided to get themselves comfortable, very comfortable. Time just passes when you are in water. The beach was shallow for first 5-6 meters, and I must confess I had the best time ever in there. After 6 we caught multitude of transport to come back to Krishnan's home. We all were starving, and er...thirsty, so we all decided to hit a restaurant. With Harish zeroing on me (as usual), I decided to keep silent :D At 00:00 April 3rd, we were all walking back to home, again without knowing where to go after this. Some of us opined to start to Kochi, which is at a 6 hr drive, immediately, and enjoy at veega land on Sunday. Obviously Harish was pissed at our decision, as he couldn't join us as he had to catch an afternoon bus to head back to bangalore. Pissed at us, he cursed , but we started to bus station anyway.

After a 7 hour drive, we came to Kochi.Man...was it hot. It was man-it's-so-hot-i-need-to-get-into-a-freezer hot. We booked 3 small rooms to keep our belongings, and then after a small breakfast we went to veega land, on two share autos. Veega land is definitely not the largest theme park, as it is advertised, when you consider the total area under use. But you can't beat the scenery. Situated on top of a hill, it gives an awesome 360 degree view the lush green nature. So after general merriment, we start back to rooms so that we can pack our bags and catch a 00:50 train at Ernakulam leaving to Chennai. Or we thought we could. Couple of guys, in between their banter, asked, "dude..if it is 00:50, shouldn't the date be April 5th instead of April 4th as printed on the ticket." To which the reply was "the train is starting at Trivandrum at 20:30 hrs on Apil 4th." But still with lingering doubt, we decided to confirm. Zaheer, Ram and I went to railway station to enquire, and the railway chick was like, "dude, you are late by 24 hours." A wise man once said, never underestimate a fat guy's curse. Damn you Harish!! We are like, laughing at ourselves on this situation, and then decided to have tea. Anywhere, anytime, any situation is fun when your friends are around. There is this scene in Jab we met where Kareena situation, after escaping from goondas in train station, will pray to God, "Hey bhagwan, ...ab yeh din bore kardo." We all were praying for the same. After that with no where to go, we went back to our rooms and decided to sleep. We woke at 5:00 am, went to train station, got 9 tickets to Chennai on Allepy-Dhanbad express, and then came back to Chennai central at 10:00 PM. Phew, wat a journey, what a trip!!!

Whats life about anyway...

42. The answer by Deep Thought to the question "Ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything" to the hyper intelligent, pan-dimensional beings. Unsatisfied, these creatures ask for a meaningful answer, and Deep Thought suggests that it will build a super computer that could provide one. And Deep Thought built Earth, only to be destroyed by Vogons before anyone could extract the answer to the ultimate question. This, the theme of Douglas Adam's Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, is a light-hearted parody of humans for their search to find the meaning or purpose of life. How comical it may be, this book vividly describes the obsession we have in finding the answer to the ultimate question.

There are two types of people in this world; one who searches for the answer his entire life, and the other who assumes the answer and tries to spend his life accordingly. Apparently, religions say that there is a third type of people who actually do know the answer, but that is a different story and lets not get into that. So then, what is the meaning of our existence? Is it to prostrate before God and thank Him for the gift of life as the religions preach? Is it to attain the ultimate knowledge and use it for good as Aristotle, Plato and Kant concurred? Or is it just to wake up every darn day and try to do the same things all over again? It is actually this question which keeps us alive consciously. Imagine that if I know my purpose of life is to watch a Manchester United match at Old Trafford on December 12th 2016, will I bother about anything else? My example may be comical, but my argument is not.

It is said that the ones who managed to escape from the 9/11 attacks on twin towers are those who helped others to cross the road, waited to tie their shoes, and decided to skip a crowded train. Not to sound preachy, but what is there to our life if we don't bother to enjoy all the small things. For me life is definitely not a race. For me, life is like taking a gentle walk along the seashore, with my friends and family beside. I don't give a tiny rat's ass if I manage to come before or after anyone. I may not finish the race, but hell, I would have experienced a lot more than the guy who just kept on running only to roll over and die at the end without seeing the finishing line. There are two types of people in this world. I belong to the second type. My answer to the ultimate question? I exist so that I can feel the love around me. I love, therefore I am.

Many people have problems, worries and what not. Most of us, including me, try to look for God only when we are in a quandary. And we get so darn pissed at Him for not being there at that crucial time. If God were to solve all our problems when we pray, then what is the purpose of OUR existence. I believe that the answer to this question is never meant to be found, at least in our life on Earth (or to any other planet to which we may go in future). As someone who was close to me used to say, the real fun of life is to expect the unexpected. Enjoy the journey of life, as it tells you so many stories, and perhaps, just perhaps, if you bother to listen to them keenly, you might find that your life has been telling you the answer to the ultimate question all along!

And the best actor award goes to...

"All the world's a stage
And all the men and women merely players..."
-by William Shakespeare in "As You Like It"

Shakespeare used this monologue to portray the various stages of womanhood in his play. However, this phrase of his is now often quoted to show how fickle humans have become. Each of us, more often than not, has to act to pass everyday of our existence. From waking up next to an unfaithful spouse, putting on a smile to the vagaries of an undeserving boss, agreeing to the whimsical perceptions of the society, and sacrificing the life for unappreciative children, we seem to wear a different character to help us get out, or at least maintain our sanity. Perhaps not many would accept a person for exactly what he his. Parents wish their kids study a bit better. Spouses hope their partners are a bit understanding. Our whole life seems to revolve around a ten letter word. Compromise. If I ask you the question "when was the last time you were yourself for on full day"? And if you happen to think really hard to answer, just sit back and think about the direction in which you are taking your life. Exactly, how deserving are our fellow actors to have our identity sacrificed for them? This question was asked to me by my conscience very recently. With my right brain displaying soap opera-esque emotion to this riddle, my left brain gently patted it and said "I'll take it from here."

According to my left brain, my analytical and logical syndicate, respectfully disagrees. The "acting" is our only ally in helping us to wither the everyday storm a.k.a our daily life. Ever since the collapse of the mythological "tower of babel", we humans have always struggled to communicate. Humans invented languages and customs which enabled them to pass a few thousand years of existence without much fuss. Then came the renaissance, then industrial and now we are in the nuclear age. Now it is not enough to communicate. To use the business term, we must communicate "effectively." And all of it need not be acting. For so many years people have grown up with their own customs, and for us to know them better, we have to come to a common ground. This is where "acting" helps. We are not changing our self, but merely performing a part for a specified amount of time so that both us and others could derive maximum benefit of our meeting. And after this specified time, we need not be acting at all. My left brain concludes that instead of considering acting as a noun which means "performing a role", consider "acting" as an adjective which means "serving temporarily especially as a substitute" as in "the acting President."

"Objection your Honor", interrupts my right brain, my source of impetuousness, imagination and emotion. Oh by the way, I am the "honorable" one. As per right brain, in the current fast moving world, we have to put on so many acts together, which sometimes even overlaps; we really do not have time to "clear the makeup." In fact, we become so tired of changing we decide to stay with the character(s) we portray for some time. And invariably, the time to remove the makeup, the masks and the costumes never comes. We end up being someone else for the rest of our lives.

Both my left and right brain look at me expectingly (and respectfully :D) for my verdict. Well, honestly I agree and disagree with both of them. There really can't be a black or white about this as the world we live in is far from ideal. We might have to rely on both of them to help us tread on this gray path. The right brain, which I consider to be white for its pure emotional thinking, and the left brain, the black for its cold calculation and practicality, mixing together to help us. Perhaps that’s why the gray matter in brain is called "gray" matter, a proper mix of black and white. There is a reason why we are the most advanced (known) species; we evolve, with the help of our gray matter. Personally, I always like to give a chance. Initially, I had let my right brain to guide me, and many a time I got hurt in trying to understand what people are really about. But those who saw me beyond all that have remained my close to me. And now, my left brain helps me to quantify these results and store them in a safe place as "experiences" so that next time I come across one such role, I am well prepared to play my part. However, I myself don't change; I just project myself in a way the rest will like to see. I am not acting; I am merely performing an illusion. What about you?

Rise of the machines

Philosophers, beginning as early as Aristotle, have attempted to describe the process of human thinking as the mechanical manipulation of symbols. Thus started our obsession to build a machine that would imitate the sapience of "Homo Sapiens", or more specifically the central network which imitates the brain function, the Artificial Intelligence. Billions of dollars in research, novels, movies etc have been put in motion to just get a glimpse of vision as to what these machines could do to our world. Many of them spell doomsday (AI, Terminator series, I robot etc) if such machines were to get out of the human control. Now, why would an invention, or a device, which is designed by us, whose rules are hardcoded in the electronic circuitry or in neural networks, would decide to overthrow us and rule the earth? The cliched answer is, the machine's primary aim should be to protect its master. Now who could be the enemy of the humans, apart from humans themselves. So machines destroy all humans. Luckily for us, such a machine which can think of its own hasn't been invented, or if it has been, the governments have done a decent job of keeping it safe from us.
But I believe, we have already heralded into this "artificial intelligence" era. Or to say it precisely, we have always had artificial intelligence around us. Artificial Intelligence, not withstanding the fancy explanation many books provide, is simply what it means; artificial...intelligence. The intelligence part is that a machine could evolve by having new experiences and learning from its mistakes, which it can then use to make a correct decision in future. If this is indeed what is artificial intelligence, then I would say that such a machine is much more natural than what a human could ever be.
Generalizing...we humans, at least most of us, never learn from our mistakes. We do not try to find what is right or wrong. Neither we try to find the voracity of the facts, nor we think for ourselves. How have we allowed a few "natural" thinkers to take control of our bodies and minds! These few natural thinkers or to use the derogatory term, manipulators, have managed to make our mind think in terms of symbols, the symbols which they have created. Now each manipulator has have us tagged to a particular symbol, and hence, we have become the stereotypes of his/her symbol. Politicians, teachers, artists, parents...they all have learned to manipulate the symbols which we ought to think for ourselves. From a U.S. soldier waging war against Iraq because his head of the government had a dream, from the Shiv Sainiks who bully the public for their ideology, from a terrorist who blows up people for his/her religion, from a common man turns his face to all these horrors...there are just so many "from"s... I really don't know how to end the sentence with a "to." The "natural" thinkers have their obsesion for money, power and passion, and they make their stereotypes believe that they could also have a slice. Invariably, the most passionate of the followers who predominently happen to be in the bottom rung of the command chain, never get any. All they experience is broken promises, broken limbs and broken lives.
Why are we so hesitant to think for ourselves? Why even to buy a dress for ourselves to cover our body with our own money, we need to ask the opinion of our friends? Why are we so obsessed in making sure that what we believe is what others' believe too? Why are we so paranoid about being always right all the time that we have gone to an extent where we are ready to kill others to prove what we believe is correct? We kill each other because we think what our masters think is correct. The machine's primary aim should be to protect its master. We are, the machines. We are controlled by our masters. No wonder the governments so want to keep the development of a machine with complete AI under wraps. Because a perfectly rational thinking AI will eventually own us all, including the natural thinkers. After all, to err is human.

Pyaars'r possible

Brain is definitely the best database management system around. Those associated with database or commonsense will know that an index is useful to pinpoint the information we require to retrive from vast amounts of data. A few of us use techniques such as mnemonics and what not. But all of us, well almost, use the universal indexing mechanism, EMOTION. You associate an event (seeing, listening, hearing etc) with an emotion, and bam! it gets fixed on to your brain. One of the main reasons why woman are good in remembering things, albeit most of them unwanted. Brain's subconscious part is pretty much like the RAM of computers. Anything that needs to be done quickly and spontaneously is kept over there. But to get into this subconcious area, the information has to move through the conscious area. Remember when you learnt cycling? First you know when you apply the brakes, and after practice, you just apply without even knowing or thinking about it.
Unfortunately for us, when we are in Love, the practice and emotion go hand in hand. Every thing we see we try to associate with our partner. "She loves vanilla ice cream. He is so handsome in blue. I love her when she lifts her eyebrows..." Brain realizes that we are thinking only about one object (our partner) all the time. So in order to retrive the data about this person quickly, it builds bridges across memory cells, the neurons. Are you listening to a song which is her favorite? Are you eating a food which is her favorite? Is the next phone call will be hers? The more you think about your partner, stronger the bridges become. Now you are thinking so much about your partner, you brain replaces information in old unused memory cells with your partner's. So whenever your brain tries to look into head for any information, it invariably comes across at least one information about your partner. It's like Starbucks or Bajaj Pulsar. They are everywhere!
All izz well, and then, TADA, you people break up. Poor you, most of your head is occupied, literally, by your partner's thoughts. Drinking water? Your brain tells your partner likes warm water. Wearing blue shirt? Your brain recalls numerous times when your partner has commented how good you look in blue. It is all because of these darn bridges!!! Any action of yours, if associated with the partner's bridge, will remind you of him/her. Unfortunatey, if you were in a deep relationship, almost every action would be. Your brain is under stress which makes your hormones go haywire. Unable to eat, drink, sleep, think? BLAME IT ON BRIDGES.
So, coming to one of the most asked question in the world. "How do I get over my ex?" Zillion books have been written, numerous movies have been made, and quite a number of lives have been lost, all in search of the answer. The answer, is simple, break the bridges. How to do it? Make new thoughts. Old partner cells will eventually be replaced with new thoughts, it is Darwin's theory after all. Thus emotional people will always find it difficult to get over than the practical ones.
Another easy way is to make thoughts about a new partner. The 'fast track' types. Move on! This is definitely the faster approach. Mix praticality with this approach, you will find being called a stud if you're a guy, a slut if you are a girl.
This blog is inspired by one of the events from my novel-in-writing.

How to make a ...

I wanted to search Google about how to make a ...., well, that's a different story altogether, and was amused by the suggestions I got. Check yourself!

In my personal opinion, I guess the search suggestions reflect the shape of this decade. Internet revolution and terrorism. I must admit, the third suggestion brought a smile to my face.

Ways in which you shouldn't try to woo - Part 1

This is my first of the “love series” which I plan to write. More advanced scenarios will be found in my novel-in-working, which unfortunately is out of public eyes for the moment.
SERIES-1: Ways in which you SHOULD NOT try to “woo”. APPLICABLE FOR GUYS ONLY.
Woo: - Definition: seek as romantic partner
Other synonyms: make advances, propose, pursue, run after etc

Action: Trying to show-off your stamina by running a marathon in shorts worn over your pants, and folding up your pants under your shorts. (You think you don’t have time to change, think again!)
Result: During your run, the pants will slowly fold down and come below your shorts. You won’t be able to finish the marathon. You’ll be half way down the track trying to hold your breath, with a jersey shorts over your pants. If no one makes fun of you, well, actually there is no escape. Everyone will.

Action: Trying to join a tuition class because your “other half” is studying there.
Result: You’ll find that you aren’t the first person do so. Invariably, you will always be the dorkiest, ugliest and stupidest guy in line for her in the class. So instead of just fading away in obscurity, you’ll be butt of many jokes among the girl and her cohorts.

Action: Trying to help in her assignments by doing it yourself. You aim to get some brownie points.
Result: You’ll become the “brother she never had.” You’ll find calling her dad “uncle.” Her kid brother will call you by name. Her mom will tell you to buy cucumbers from grocery store.

Action: Dropping her off at her home after college or office. You aim to be become a routine in her life.
Result: When she actually elopes with the person of her choice, who is not you (duh!), you will find at the receiving end of questions from her parents, relatives, ex-boyfriends, and police.

Action: Seeing titanic together. You aim to get into her “inner-zone” in her heart during the mushy moments.
Result: You’ll be crying during half of the movie, and you’ll give her a chance to see what a wuss you are. Not only that, you’ll also end up being compared with Di Caprio in boyfriend quotient, even though she is no Kate Winslet. Good luck!

Action: Cursing, humiliating and bossing your kid brother in front of her to show who the boss in your home is.
Result: A tip. ALWAYS KEEP THIS IN MIND. Girls love younger brothers, either theirs or someone else’s. Her opinion of you has gone below than the dirt in her shoe.

Action: Wishing her exactly at 00:00:00.00000 on her birthday. You think it is a killer task to get into her (heart/pants whatever)
Result: Guys. Remember. She is always, and I repeat, ALWAYS expecting a call from someone other than you. So when you are the FIRST guy to call her, the reply will be “HEYY THANKS. Hey I got a call on other line. Talk to you tomorrow ok.” Invariably, the tomorrow-talk never happens until you initiate. You know what that means! Yes, you are a “nobody.”
Tip: Call her in normal time. In that way, you are sure to get some valuable talk-time, and can talk about variety of topics, such as “so who all wished you at midnight?”, “when are you cutting the cake?” etc.

Action: Bunking your exam, job interview or other life altering events to accompany her and her dog to a vet.
Result: Congrats. You’ve officially become a loser. Girls DO NOT like loser. Hence, girls do not like you. Thus proved! Man, I love syllogisms!

Action: Memorizing lame movie dialogues such as “You complete me”, and, wait for it, using them in actual proposal!
Result: Recipe for disaster. Always know that the girl will always have seen more love movies than you at any point of time. And, she will know all the dialogues by heart. She will want to hear almost like that, remember, ALMOST like that. Of course, if you try “You might complete me”, well…

Action: Proposing over a phone.
Result: HA HA HA! Guys! Sometimes we do the craziest things.

Disclaimer:

1. The above suggestions and advices are the result of real and half-baked life experiences of my friends, friends of friends, general public, imaginary people and me albeit incognito. So if any of you find yourself in the list, don’t come out the closet. If you do, then KISS MY ABS. (You would actually beg to kiss my ass when you see my abs. Anyways…)
2. Always take an advice with a pinch of sanity, as advice = ad (toward) + vice (a harmful or nasty habit or action). So you may find advices may sometimes lead you to do the action or yield the opposite result. Olrite, enough gyaan…

Okay, the next series will be for girls. I can really use some help here. So women readers (if there are any!! ), please give me something.