Yaaawn - 2

So I go back home tired just wanting to have some hot tea, and my mom comes out and says, "Ok Riaz I have found a girl for you." I jump right out of my slumber. So many different thoughts were going through my head. I can't get married now, I am not ready. I tell, "mom, whats the hurry now, I am just getting to start my career." "No Riaz, you are 29 now and its about time. Your dad and I have decided, and we think that this girl would be really suitable for you. We have almost finalized the alliance, and all I require from you is to say yes and we will proceed."

I started to sweat profusely. I wasn't ready for this. Given the fact that I am too old and fat to run behind a girl, I have resigned to the fact that my marriage will be arranged. I act as if I have a choice, I don't but that's a moot point now. I get all panicky every time I am reminded about marriage, or the concept of it. To be spending and sharing with someone, is indeed a weird thing for me. Heck, I don't even like to share my bed, how will I share my life. I am not a big romantic but I do like to know someone really well before I commit to that person. On the other hand, it would also behoove well for "that" person to know me well before she likes to commit to the specimen that is me. All my dear friends would vouch for the trial period, knowing my idiosyncrasies.

"Mom, don't you think that this is a bit hasty? I mean, whats the hurry now. You didn't even tell me that you had this thought!" "I have been saying this to you for years, and you never give due attention. I have decided. Now there is someone from girl's side here. If you have any questions you can ask." I scream, "are you crazy? You actually have someone here?!!! And you didn't even think of letting me know when I was I coming home." "Well, if I had told you before, you would not have come home", she told as a matter of fact. I thought, "oh well, thats true."

I am going to meet someone from the bride's side. Crap, "bride's" side, this is indeed really happening. In as much as I say anything, I am pretty sure that my parents (when I say parents, I mean my mom) have already made up their minds, and this would be THE family I would be entering into. I have always been appreciative of my mom. We come from a real conservative society, but she has always given me my freedom, keeping my interests first before anything and anyone else, thus being on the receiving side on quite a few family gatherings. When it is a norm for a guy to get married at 24-25 age in our circle, my mom let me do what I want with my career. She was really supportive of my intent to pursue higher studies, obvious, as she is the one who instilled the fire to gain knowledge ever since I was a kid. Almost everyone was against my decision to leave a plump job behind and go abroad to study amidst volatile economy, but my mom supported me, albeit with tears, as she knew what I want. Of course, mom knows the best.

But this, this is BIG. So I get into the bathroom first to freshen up, obviously, I'd at least try to make a good impression. I was still sweating, but I came out eventually, and mom took me to the living room where one of the soon-to-be "extended family" was waiting. "Riaz, this is...." I didn't pay attention to the name or anything else as I was busy trying to size up my "opponent." Probably a sister or cousin of the bride, I thought, definitely the one with more voice and inquisitive of the lot as lots of information had to go back to the headquarters where the parents and the bride are. She extended her hand, I just managed to blurt of an hi, still caught with the myriad of things inside my head. A wrong thing to do, I thought afterwards; I just came out a bit crude.

I told," You want to get out somewhere, probably to terrace or balcony where we can talk in private." I could see in my mom's eyes that she didn't approve of my request, but she kept to herself , so both of us came out. I felt as if I had just got out of a pressure cooker. There was so much I want to shout out. She looked at me and said, "momma's boy huh!" I got so angry. I said, "look you don't know me well enough to judge me. So please don't." "Ok, ok, I am sorry. I was just joking you know. So marriage uh. It is a big deal." I replied, "It is, thank you."

"Look, Your mom thought I could help you out and so I am here to answer any questions you have about the bride or our family. Don't consider me an outsider. Ask as if you'd ask a friend." After getting calmed a little bit, I asked, "look, you sound like a smart person. Do you think it is fair that such a big decision in my life is being made, and I am not even a part of it?" She said, "even your mom sounds to be smart. I think whatever decision she makes would be the right choice for you." I reply, "I know, I know. Whatever she has done has been for my benefit all these years. But this, this is just overwhelming. I mean to think that I would be spending the rest of my life with someone, that feeling is not sinking in. How would you feel if something like this happened to you?"

"I will be overwhelmed too. A lot in fact. But if I know that the person is nice, I would be eager to start my life again with him." Impressed, but I still had some doubts. Someone from family looks intelligent, hopefully the bride will be too. And then I just asked bluntly, "look you think it is fair that I'd have to say yes to this alliance, without meeting the girl. I'd love to talk to her, at least some, make sure that she likes me, don't you think that it's important?" She said, "It is very important indeed. But I think the girl would like you, I have no doubt." I retorted, "see people's preferences differ. Plus, I would like to ask that to the girl personally, not through any third party. And I have a few personal questions to ask to the bride too; know her well, or at least some." She replied, "That is perfectly fine. So go on, ask me." She smiled.

Suddenly, I understood the gravity of what she said, and comprehended the smile on her face. The feeling of confusion and stupidity was way too much to bear, and I just faintly remember coming back to my senses, with her name being the first question I asked.

And then I came back to senses for real. No doubt, I was sporting a smile the whole day. Finally I got to meet my dream girl. For real!

Based on a true dream, not so long ago. And it is not real. And it is not a true story. And I am not engaged (as yet). Sheesh!!!

Yaaawn.

Ever since my last outrageous dream-slash-nightmare only to not remember that in full after I woke up, I told myself that as soon as I wake up from a similar experience, I would note it down and may be start a chronicle of sorts. Today was one of those days, and I thought I'd give you a glimpse as to what is happening inside my head, even when I am not aware of it.

Ok...so I have to skip the first episode, as it is, well, between someone and me, so I'll jump to the  next one.

This one, is straight out of a Spielberg Movie. So I was in this airport with my friends in Chennai. But this ain't the Chennai airport. In fact, even the best of the international airports I have seen don't come close to whats about to happen inside this airport. First of all, like all dreams we have no idea where were we before the airport episode. Second, I have no idea why are we there; we sure didn't receive anyone at the airport. On a passing note, two guys I knew loooooong time back were just coming back to Chennai from abroad. Weird thing is neither of them were in US and neither of them stay at Chennai. But it is a dream, so anyway. And then, the most outrageous thing happens. From the top, something like small satellites drop down, dozens of them. They don't fall on the floor at once, but hold themselves in suspension until the people underneath them clear, and then gently fall on the floor. Now my friends immediately look to hold on to something, and so does everyone else. Before I ask them why they do that, the entire airport stretch elevates, something akin to an open bridge when a ship goes underneath. This makes the satellite-like things to go to the corner, or almost, until the floor is held inclined. And when everything is settled, people just went to one of those satellite thing, opened it and took something. My friends and I went to the one near us, and we opened it. Guess what was in it? Apparently, it contained the food that we ordered (in the distant past of the dream that is now very vague). I was like.."whoa..cool." And of course, I went on to gorge on brownies (no guess needed to know who ordered that one!)

Now back to reality, I woke up to my alarm at 6:00 AM. Feeling just so lazy after a long day yesterday and decided to go back to sleep...just for a little while. And now the part 2 starts..almost immediately I went back to sleep.

So I am back at the airport, but somewhere at basement here you have this hugeee shopping complex (Chennai airport would be so cool if it were this) and I seem to have lost my friends. As I am going through the shops, there this flagrant transvestite, who starts to hit on me. I was like running away from him/her, and before even I realize I am being stalked and chased. I start running away like crazy, I get out of the airport apartment and then fly out to the streets. It is about 8 PM in the night I guess, judging by the thickness of city traffic. As I am in the process of searching my friends, I see them at the end of the street where. Before I call out to them, one of my friend (Ram) calls out for me "Riaz Gaffooooor." Weird, why would any of my friends call me using that name...but again it is a dream. And then suddenly, one guy who was in the vicinity, catches the shirt of my friend and asked, "did you mean RIAZ GAFFOOR? I am searching for him, where is he?" And at that moment I come to the scene, and this guy takes a piece of log that lay nearby and says, "I have been searching you for so long." Before I even comprehend what the hell is happening, we are surrounded by couple of dozen people armed with all sorts of non-ammo tools (Chennai style). I was like, dude why?, and then he says, "remember sometime back you threw a ball back in this street to a group of people who were playing. The ball you threw hit one of our friend's arm and that lead to a blood clot which lead to a complicated heart condition with which he now has to live for ever." I was like, dude. Now I get a flashback within my dream (oh yeah!), and I now remember what I did. Coming back to my senses --in the dream that is-- I asked to talk to the person whom I apparently inflicted the injury upon. That person came -- I swear I had seen him before -- and said to him, "Man, I didn't mean it." He was like, "yeah it is alright, these guys are just making a big thing out of it." He then talked to the crowd and all was well.

Not sure how much had elapsed after that, now I was somewhere, I think it was in one of my friend's place. We are planning a birthday party, and we are in the process of inviting the rest of the gang. And then flash forward, I am reading Business Process Management, which incidentally happened to be the last one I read before going to sleep.

And then I wake up from the slumber, it is now 7:00 AM and I hurry to get ready for a long Monday.

It's definitely a different feeling to jot down what I had dreamed about. I feel that there are so many of my characteristics are evident from most of these episodes, like how much I miss my friends and hanging out with them. Rest, I have no explanation!! 1 to 10 on outrageous scale, this one is probably at 3-4 ish level. I have had 9s and 10s in the past, and I wish I had remember more of them for they would have made some of the best stories.

Purani Jeans

Thanks to Good Friday, I have got an extended weekend from Friday to Sunday. I decided to make the best use of Friday by hearing to all my favorite songs from the past. I was hearing to Rang de Basanti which brought my fond TCS memories. Suddenly I wish I could rewind three years of my life and get back to January 2006 where I had some of the best days of life. So analytical I have become nowadays that I decided to take this thought a step further and think about 10 things I most miss in my life now. These are the things I cannot have now for various reasons. I have already said about my TCS training life, so here is the rest of the list. They have just been put in random order as it occurred in my mind.
Till my tenth grade, I spend almost all of my days at my maternal grand dad’s place. That home was really awesome with 11-12 tenants, all of them having kids of my age. The terrace was flanked by others’ from all the four sides so it was easy to gather the neighbors and have a gala time, all the time! My school used to get over at 2:15 A.M.; I will come home, eat my lunch hurriedly and then scoot to the terrace to play cricket with almost 10-12 kids. This happened every day, from 6th grade till 10th grade. I was very good at studies (then…he he) so my parents let me have my way. Really miss this now! Plus, how can I afford to go to the terrace nowadays; it has become darn hot!
I miss my school! Almost all of my closest friends have been my buddies since school days. I spent my entire schooling at Gill Adarsh, right from kinder garden till my 12th grade. That’s 14 years of my life! Have many many many fond memories in there. My first “first rank”, the sports meets, the slap from SV (Gill Adarsh folks know whom I am talking about), the lovely teachers who really cared about us, the white and blue uniform, the blue house belt and many more. Gosh, how I wish I could have just one day of my school days back. I wish I could have this one return to innocence.
Madhuri Dixit! What an actress!! What a grace. My first crush from the tinsel town! Given the fact that my second crush was Emma Watson, you can imagine how hard it has been for the sexy ladies to fill in her shoes. The movie industry is yet to find a suitable replacement for her. Miss you Madhuri!!
Backstreet boys! Really, I ain’t joking. Back street boys’ songs were my entry into coolness during my pre-teen school days. I was a style statement just to have “everybodyyyaaaa” on our lips. They were also the first English band/song/group I listened to. My school buddies will tell you that I made them never forget the “I want it that way” from the Millennium. Miss the 90’s pop! the bboys, boy zone, nsync, bryan adams, take that, five, 98 degrees, aqua, britney, 911..so many of them!
The good old cartoon network! This will be my daily dose of cartoons every day before. 6:30 A.M. The perils of Penelope 7:00 A.M: Dexter Laboratory 7:30 A.M Tom and Jerry show 8:00 Power puff girls. I will go to school at 8:30. Our school prayers start at 7:50, so I will be outside the gate till it gets over. Late comers gets spanking with wooden scales from the P.D masters (after 11th grade it became push-up’s as our sweet princi felt it was inappropriate to hit grown up boys) And at 6:00 PM: Jonny Bravo, 6:30: the Sylvester and Tweety mysteries and at 7:00 P.M, the Dexter Lab rerun. The channel has become so sucky now with all nonsensical stuff. There were some kick ass animated series before. The things that immediately come to mind are the batman: the animated series, Johnny Quest, captain planet etc. Ben 10 is ok now, but the quality has stooped to abysmal levels.
The Kick I got from online chat. Like most of the pre-teen people, I too got bitten by the internet bug. It was a style statement to have an e-mail address. The one who had a chat friend was the hero! Every day I used to chat, it cost some cool 50 bucks for one hour then. French tuition fees, physics tuition fees, chemistry tuition fees and whatever money we could gather were pooled so that we can afford to live this “lavish life style.” Balaji and Ashwath were my partners in crime. This mania continued till my second year in college. Most of the relationships were pretty much use and throw types, but some of them have stuck with me till now. After 2 years, I got onto yahoo chat last week, and my latest online “friend” is a “Sania” from Malaysia.
The cycle ride to school :)
The good ol’ video game. I have a 62k laptop now with 2GB RAM, 256MB Nvidia gforce 8600MGT graphics card with direct 10x enabled. But whatever games I play with it, the fun was nothing compared to the enjoyment I had with the Mario game in the console. Spent hours and days and weeks before that darn thing.
Adarsh Vidyalaya. The answer to all-boys Gill Adarsh school. Our arch nemesis. The lady devils. The beauties. The brains. The angels in skirts. Whatever you call them, they made our school days so memorable! The kick is gone now. Thank God for that, coz if it weren’t, it would be really creepy.
I hated my college. I really do. Ever since the first day I landed there, all I was expecting was for the last day to come. But the journey to college was the best thing ever. I used to commute by train. There are some 13-15 colleges in the same route, so all the trains from 6:50 A.M till 8:00 A.M from central station will be packed with college students. Had lotta great ideas, had lotta fights, had lotta burns and well, had a great time!
Wow! You know, when I finished writing this list, I feel really rejuvenated. What a journey it has been! Really awesome!! If you are reading this post, do put the things you miss the most now in the comments section. A word of advice from my experience; cherish your memories, but don’t try to live it again. Move forward with life for there are so many realms to conquer and make new memories, good memories.

Till my next post, Adios! Perhaps I will come up with a list of things that I am glad for going out of my life ;)

DREAM CATCHING(UP)

I am not sure if I have had dreamed about anything for such a long time other than thinking about studying abroad. Five years, and it is still burning inside. Those who know me, and have followed my blog for the past few years would understand what I am saying. Well, you can’t say owning Manchester United Football Club to be a dream; it is more of a fantasy.

I gave GMAT on August 2008 to kick of pursuit of becoming an MBA graduate. With an average score of 680/6, I had to put all my effort on projecting my application through my essays. Fast forward to February 2009, I have an admission offer from one of the premier institutes in USA. There is only one catch though; I need $110,000! Almost everyone I know keep telling the same thing; “it is not worth it.” Perhaps, they don’t understand what this means to me. This is not just an MBA. This is my dream personified. This is the source of my belief, which proves to me again and again that I can capable of realizing my dream through hard work and dedication. I may not be born with a golden spoon, but I hell can make one of my own!

Never expected this day to come sooner; or perhaps has it come a bit late? I always had taken my finances for granted, living everyday on its merit, and with almost no savings. But even if I become a miser from today, there is no way I will be able to garner that much amount in a year. Heck! That is the amount I dream of having in my bank balance when I retire.

Now I am left to ponder my next steps in life. May sound cheesy folks, but I really feel a sense of accomplishment! If I can alter Pierre de Coubertine’s Olympic mantra for a poor student’s dream, “Studying does not matter; getting admission is a big deal in itself.” HELL YEAH!