Showing posts with label names. Show all posts
Showing posts with label names. Show all posts

Friday, August 26, 2011

Stupidonymous

I love my name a lot...it is short and sweet (??). Easy to remember, and as I found in many cases, it is also easy to pronounce even by people not from the same cultural background. But when they ask what my FULL name is, that is when the trouble starts.

You see, till my tenth grade, my name had gone under a multitude of evolution (no numerological or astrological reasons btw) to get to a point where I can write my name with a constant spelling, and took painstaking measures to have the same name in all school records. From Md. Riaz -> Mohd. Riyazudeen -> Mohamed Riazudeen -> Mohammed Riyazuddin -> Mohammed Riazuddin. This name was great, I thought, and I begin to practice my signature with this specific spelling with my dad's initials A.G. (the reason behind my "silver") at the front. Things were fine, not so much so when I appear for the exams (think CAT), where I had to shade my full name in all those ovals. But it wasn't until I wished to apply for passport my troubles started. You know that the passport requires a last name to be filled. In our community, there is no concept of last name. A person just has a name, with no links whatsoever to the family name, mother's name, dad's name or whatever. We were never the "Mr. & Mrs. Sharma" types. So when I required a last name, I went the "western" way by expanding my initials and putting them after my name. Got the passport as "Mohammed Riazuddin Abdul Gaffoor" a name with 32 characters  including space, the significance I didn't realize until I got my job at Verizon.

It seems like many of the systems have a limit of 30 characters for name. So at VZ, I was given Mohammed as first name, Riazuddin as last name, with Abdul as middle name. Even my id card said I was "Mohammed" and I was being called by that. It was very different at the start, as in my then 22 years of existence, I was never addressed as Mohammed. So every time I was addressed as such, I took the pain to correct then and there.."hey you can call me riaz." But over the period of time, all was well, and since I made many "public appearances" my peers knew how to call me.

All was well, until I started to apply for colleges in US. Again the problem, I was called as Mohammed. What's worse, my name started to get cut as my whole name wasn't fitting in many of the application systems. I was Mohammed somewhere...Riaz...or just Abdul Gaffoor. I heaved a huge sigh of relief when my university (UGA) began asking whats my preferred name is, and I very happily replied, "Riaz."

Problem over, no! In my SSN, my name was cut, Riazuddin became Riazudd...and only god knows where these details would be propagated. Add to that, while introducing to my peers, I go, "hey my name is M..R...A..G.. but you can call me Riaz." I lost them at "M...." Then one day came where I had to give what name I wanted to put on my business cards and resumes, and after much deliberation (unfortunate people who were with me when I deliberated know how bad it was) of Mohammed Riazuddin, Riaz Abdul Gaffoor, AG Mohammed Riazuddin, Superman(??), ...I FINNALLYY became Riaz Gaffoor. This ain't my official name as that is still what is in my SSN, but for everything else, the US will now know me as Riaz Gaffoor. Sorry mom, sorry dad, but you shoulda asked me what name I wanted before you kept one!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Whose Name Is It Anyway?

Ross: Muriel. Why would he call you Muriel? Oh my God! Chandler M. Bing? It’s not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!
Chandler: Shh! It's a family name!
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never gave you a chance, did they?
(From F.R.I.E.N.D.S)

Sometimes, a name is much more than an identity; It defines the person. Really, how many of us have picked up on our friends calling names on their names. And God help them if their names rhymes with many items. I genuinely feel that a name adds to a character and behavior of a person. I can't imagine whether David Beckham would be the kind of person he is if he had a name say,..Paul Wiener! Or Micheal Jackson as a Dick Banger! Or, well, our very own James Bond as Arthur Twinbuckle. "Twinbuckle, Arthur Twinbuckle." Sheeee!

For as long as I could remember, my bro was at odds with my parents about his name. He has already changed the name once (just a few spellings), but he has come close to change his name on so many occasions. And its not just him, I have seen so many people who are unhappy with their names. More importantly, they think that they are not being taken seriously among their colleagues because of their names. Sounds silly, but it a sad true fact.

So I thought, why can't a child choose what name he wants for the rest of his life. Of course, you got to give a name to child as soon as he or she is born because you can't allow him or her to spend the kinder-garden as "specimen FGH143123." But at such a tender age, would a kid be able to understand the significance of a name? I say, write names on chits and let the child choose one. And you can always pass the blame onto your kid if he ever asks you why the hell you chose that specific name for him. But he has every right to kick you if you happen to put a "Quick Gun Murugan" in the lot :D

Finally, I leave with you a small poem. Even though Riaz is a hard name to pick on (not many things that rhymes with zzz), but still a genius friend of mine managed to do something with it when I was in 5th grade.
"Riazuddin,
Godebuddin, (no idea what it means, i know gode = horse...perhaps horse crap??)
Maare duski se (gonna hit u)
Saade theen" (at half past 3)

Till my next post, c ya :-)