So I go back home tired just wanting to have some hot tea, and my mom comes out and says, "Ok Riaz I have found a girl for you." I jump right out of my slumber. So many different thoughts were going through my head. I can't get married now, I am not ready. I tell, "mom, whats the hurry now, I am just getting to start my career." "No Riaz, you are 29 now and its about time. Your dad and I have decided, and we think that this girl would be really suitable for you. We have almost finalized the alliance, and all I require from you is to say yes and we will proceed."
I started to sweat profusely. I wasn't ready for this. Given the fact that I am too old and fat to run behind a girl, I have resigned to the fact that my marriage will be arranged. I act as if I have a choice, I don't but that's a moot point now. I get all panicky every time I am reminded about marriage, or the concept of it. To be spending and sharing with someone, is indeed a weird thing for me. Heck, I don't even like to share my bed, how will I share my life. I am not a big romantic but I do like to know someone really well before I commit to that person. On the other hand, it would also behoove well for "that" person to know me well before she likes to commit to the specimen that is me. All my dear friends would vouch for the trial period, knowing my idiosyncrasies.
"Mom, don't you think that this is a bit hasty? I mean, whats the hurry now. You didn't even tell me that you had this thought!" "I have been saying this to you for years, and you never give due attention. I have decided. Now there is someone from girl's side here. If you have any questions you can ask." I scream, "are you crazy? You actually have someone here?!!! And you didn't even think of letting me know when I was I coming home." "Well, if I had told you before, you would not have come home", she told as a matter of fact. I thought, "oh well, thats true."
I am going to meet someone from the bride's side. Crap, "bride's" side, this is indeed really happening. In as much as I say anything, I am pretty sure that my parents (when I say parents, I mean my mom) have already made up their minds, and this would be THE family I would be entering into. I have always been appreciative of my mom. We come from a real conservative society, but she has always given me my freedom, keeping my interests first before anything and anyone else, thus being on the receiving side on quite a few family gatherings. When it is a norm for a guy to get married at 24-25 age in our circle, my mom let me do what I want with my career. She was really supportive of my intent to pursue higher studies, obvious, as she is the one who instilled the fire to gain knowledge ever since I was a kid. Almost everyone was against my decision to leave a plump job behind and go abroad to study amidst volatile economy, but my mom supported me, albeit with tears, as she knew what I want. Of course, mom knows the best.
But this, this is BIG. So I get into the bathroom first to freshen up, obviously, I'd at least try to make a good impression. I was still sweating, but I came out eventually, and mom took me to the living room where one of the soon-to-be "extended family" was waiting. "Riaz, this is...." I didn't pay attention to the name or anything else as I was busy trying to size up my "opponent." Probably a sister or cousin of the bride, I thought, definitely the one with more voice and inquisitive of the lot as lots of information had to go back to the headquarters where the parents and the bride are. She extended her hand, I just managed to blurt of an hi, still caught with the myriad of things inside my head. A wrong thing to do, I thought afterwards; I just came out a bit crude.
I told," You want to get out somewhere, probably to terrace or balcony where we can talk in private." I could see in my mom's eyes that she didn't approve of my request, but she kept to herself , so both of us came out. I felt as if I had just got out of a pressure cooker. There was so much I want to shout out. She looked at me and said, "momma's boy huh!" I got so angry. I said, "look you don't know me well enough to judge me. So please don't." "Ok, ok, I am sorry. I was just joking you know. So marriage uh. It is a big deal." I replied, "It is, thank you."
"Look, Your mom thought I could help you out and so I am here to answer any questions you have about the bride or our family. Don't consider me an outsider. Ask as if you'd ask a friend." After getting calmed a little bit, I asked, "look, you sound like a smart person. Do you think it is fair that such a big decision in my life is being made, and I am not even a part of it?" She said, "even your mom sounds to be smart. I think whatever decision she makes would be the right choice for you." I reply, "I know, I know. Whatever she has done has been for my benefit all these years. But this, this is just overwhelming. I mean to think that I would be spending the rest of my life with someone, that feeling is not sinking in. How would you feel if something like this happened to you?"
"I will be overwhelmed too. A lot in fact. But if I know that the person is nice, I would be eager to start my life again with him." Impressed, but I still had some doubts. Someone from family looks intelligent, hopefully the bride will be too. And then I just asked bluntly, "look you think it is fair that I'd have to say yes to this alliance, without meeting the girl. I'd love to talk to her, at least some, make sure that she likes me, don't you think that it's important?" She said, "It is very important indeed. But I think the girl would like you, I have no doubt." I retorted, "see people's preferences differ. Plus, I would like to ask that to the girl personally, not through any third party. And I have a few personal questions to ask to the bride too; know her well, or at least some." She replied, "That is perfectly fine. So go on, ask me." She smiled.
Suddenly, I understood the gravity of what she said, and comprehended the smile on her face. The feeling of confusion and stupidity was way too much to bear, and I just faintly remember coming back to my senses, with her name being the first question I asked.
And then I came back to senses for real. No doubt, I was sporting a smile the whole day. Finally I got to meet my dream girl. For real!
Based on a true dream, not so long ago. And it is not real. And it is not a true story. And I am not engaged (as yet). Sheesh!!!
